In All Fair Likelihood

| Friendly | May 4, 2014

Friend #1: “None of the teachers like me!”

Friend #2: “That’s not true! Mrs. [Teacher] likes you!”

Friend #1: *relieved* “Oh yeah… She does, doesn’t she?”

Me: *not having paid attention* “But Mrs. [Teacher] likes everybody!”

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A Mixed Reaction

| Friendly | May 3, 2014

Stranger: “So, your accent- where’s that from?”

Me: “Oh well, it’s a mix of several: Canadian, Dutch, Irish…”

Stranger: “Oh. I like the Canadian accent. But not mixed with anything.”

Me: “Okay…”

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Receipted And Defeated

| Friendly | May 2, 2014

(My friends and I decide to do some grocery shopping together. The friend in question is in a relationship.)

Girl At The Register: “Do you want the receipt?”

Friend: “Only if you write your phone number on it.”

(The girl at the register starts to write her phone number on the receipt.)

Me: “Hey, [Friend], don’t you already have a girlfriend?”

(The girl at the register throws away the receipt, and my friend just glares at me.)

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A Slight Revelation Deflation

| Friendly | May 2, 2014

Friend: “I HAVE HAD AN EPIPHANY!”

Me: “Oh? Do tell!”

Friend: “Wait… define epiphany for me first.”

Me: “And this is why we are best friends.”

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Totally In The Dark

| Friendly | May 2, 2014

(I am at a stop downtown waiting for a bus. I have a few minutes to wait, so I am walking back and forth along the street. A man comes up to me.)

Man: “Excuse me. Do you have the time?”

Me: “Sure, it’s 11:39.”

Man: “At night or in the daytime?”

(Stunned by this question, I stare at him for a moment before pointing up to the dark, starry sky. There are streetlights on all around us in front of the closed, darkened mall and library. He looks at me, up at the sky, and back to me.)

Man: “What?”

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