(I work at a large retail store. A customer is just about to approach my register, when my counter phone rings. It is security.)

Security: “For this customer, just allow the return, then step away from my counter.”

(That is all they tell me. The customer then approaches.)

Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”

(The customer hands me an expensive bedding set.)

Customer: “Yes, I would like to return this, please.”

(I look at the receipt, and notice it was paid by cash.)

Me: “Okay, one moment, ma’am.”

(I process the return, give her the cash, and step away from my register as if to tidy shelves nearby. The customer walks away, and two minutes later my coworker from another department runs over and grabs me by the arm.)

Coworker: “What in the world just happened? Are you all right!?”

Me: “I’m fine. What’s going on?”

Coworker: “Security and the police just tackled your customer into the lingerie displays!”

(It turns out the customer was a scammer that would come in with just a receipt, pick up the item from the shelf that matched the receipt while a worker was busy, and then return the ‘bought’ item for cash. The customer had done this to 12 other stores before us. She was tackled when trying to run, after being confronted by the police.)

(I’m contacting tech support of a well-known manufacturer of external hard drive backup units.)

Technician: “Thank you for calling [Company Name]; how can I assist you?”

Me: “I have a hard drive that is smoking. I need to send it in for service, as well as verify there are no safety concerns for the others we have purchased.”

Technician: “Okay, can you please connect the product and switch it on?”

Me: “Did you just seriously ask me to plug in a product that is smoking and potentially a fire hazard?”

Technician: “…yes.”

Me: “…okay!”

(At this point, I decide to have a little fun with this technician with my coworker.)

Me: “Okay, I’ve plugged it in, and now it’s smoking.”

Technician: “Okay, can you now please—”

Me: “Now it has caught fire; there are flames coming out the back.”

Coworker: “Is something burning? OH MY GOD! CALL 911! I’ll get the fire extinguisher!”

Technician: “Oh, my, umm, uh, I will need to connect you with my manager.”

Me: “Yeah, you do that…”

(I am 21 years old, and a huge ‘Pokémon’ fan. I notice that my receipt for the new Pokémon game is wrong, so I go in to check what happened. At the counter next to me is a middle-aged woman buying ‘Grand Theft Auto 5’ for her young son, who is no older than nine. The game is intended for 18-year-olds minimum.)

Me: “Excuse me; the deposit for the new Pokémon is £5, but I’ve been charged twice for it.”

Employee: “Oh, sorry, let me have a look.”

(I hand him the receipt, while the woman stares at me.)

Woman: “You’re a little old to be playing Pokémon aren’t you?”

Me: “And your son’s a little young to be playing Grand Theft Auto isn’t he?”

(The employees can’t help but laugh. The woman goes red-faced.)

Woman: “That’s completely different.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m getting a game intended for kids and your kid is getting a game intended for adults.”

Woman: “Well he knows full well not to repeat anything they do in those games; he is a smart boy. Who do you think you are to judge me anyway?”

Me: “Lady… as far as I’m concerned, if my game purchases are your business then your game purchases are my business.”

Woman: “Well I just hope my boy is smart enough to know when it is time to grow up.”

Boy: “Yeah, f*** you!”

(The employees and I burst out laughing as the mother throws the game onto the counter and drags her son out of the shop with him screaming at her that he wants his ‘f****** game.’)

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
Grand Theft Innocence

This story is part of our Pokémon roundup!

Read the next Pokémon Roundup story!

Read the Pokémon Roundup!

(I am an 18-year-old male. I work at a local bakery around the corner from my house on the weekends. I’m busy dealing with a customer, who happens to be my sister, who is older by five years. Since it’s quiet at the moment, I’m just having a quick chat with her whilst my coworker deals with the only other customer in the store.)

Me: “Well, anyway, I should get back to clearing the shelves. I will see you at home later?”

Sister: “Yeah, sure!”

(The other customer has apparently been eavesdropping, and walks up to my sister.)

Customer: “Don’t you think you should wait until you’re older before you start dating men?”

(The customer then turns to me.)

Customer: “AND YOU! You should be ashamed of yourself! This girl can’t be more than 16, and you’re taking advantage of her!”

(To be fair my sister is short and very slim. I’m 6′ 2″ and quite bulky, so she is often mistaken for being younger than me.)

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but you seem to have misunderstood. This is my sister, and she’s actually older than me.”

Customer: “Don’t you try to justify yourself to me, you monster; you’re taking advantage of this poor girl.”

(The customer then tries to take my sister by the hand and lead her out of the store.)

Customer: “Come with me, dear; I won’t let that man hurt you.”

Sister: “No, that really is my brother! You don’t understand.”

Customer: “No, dear, don’t believe his lies. Let’s get you away from here and call the police.”

(He drags my sister out onto the street. I rush after them, because as far as I’m concerned, this man is in the act of kidnapping my sister.)

Me: “Hey, stop! GET OFF MY SISTER!”

(The man turns around to face me, at which point several other store owners have come out to see what’s going on. I decide to make a last ditch attempt to reason with this man before I try and force him to let go of my sister.)

Me: “Look, I’ve got my ID on me and so does my sister! If we show them to you, will you accept that what were telling you is the truth?”

Customer: “Fine, but I warn you: I know fakes when I see them!”

(My sister and I both show our IDs, which bear the exact same surname and our dates of birth. I see that it all finally clicks into place in the customer’s brain.)

Customer: “Oh, well, why didn’t you just say so?”

(The customer saunters off down the street, merry as you like. Once were sure he’s gone, my sister walks round the corner back home. It’s only then we realize that in all the drama, the customer never actually paid for the bread and cakes he had bought. We all now wonder if he just forgot like we did, or if we were a victim of the most impressive scam to steal bread and cake in history!)

(I am standing in line at a restaurant, waiting to order lunch. I eat there often, and the owner has just decided a couple of weeks ago that the restrooms are for paying customers only. A woman rushes in; she seems to be quite ill.)

Woman: “Bathroom. Now, please!”

Owner: “Sorry, the bathroom is for paying customers only!”

(The woman glances at the long lunch line in dismay.)

Woman: “I can’t wait that long. Can I buy something after?”

Owner: “Nope, you have to buy something first.”

(The woman looks at the next person in line imploringly.)

Woman: “Do you mind if I cut?”

Customer #1: “Nope, go ahead!”

Owner: “No, you need to go to the back of the line!”

Woman: “But I need—”

Owner: “To the back!”

Woman: “But I’m going to—”

(The owner opens his mouth to cut her off again, but then the woman vomits all over the counter and the owner. A second customer comes over to support the woman.)

Customer #2: “Since the OWNER said that only paying customers can use the bathroom, the OWNER can clean that mess up. Let’s go somewhere else for lunch!”

(The ENTIRE waiting line of people turned around and left the restaurant! Turned out the woman was pregnant and suffering from morning sickness.)

This story is part of the second Pregnancy roundup!

Read the next second Pregnancy roundup story!

Read the second Pregnancy roundup!