(I’ve recently been hired at a coffee shop. My coworker is complaining that the day before, he’d been made to stay an extra two hours to cover for someone who didn’t show up.)

Me: “Ugh, that sucks. At least you got overtime.”

Coworker: “No, [Boss’s Name] doesn’t pay overtime.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Coworker: “I asked him about it once, and he said he doesn’t believe in it.”

Me: “…you do know that’s against the law?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “It’s in the labor code. You have to give someone time and a half if they work more than eight hours in one day.”

Coworker: “What? He said overtime was a benefit and he didn’t give it!”

Me: “Let’s be generous. It’s possible he actually thinks that, which just makes him appallingly ignorant and negligent as an employer. But my money’s on ‘actively trying to screw you.'”

(My coworker went to the boss and threatened to report him if he didn’t get his money. Unfortunately, this was only the first of many issues with said employer, and I quit six weeks later.)

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(While doing theater checks, I am informed that we have some skateboarders using our building’s parking lot and curbs as their own personal skate-park. I am sent to ask them to leave.)

Me: “Hey guys, you can’t skateboard here.”

Skateboarder #1: “Well, where can we go then?”

Me: “I know of a skate-park 20 minutes walk from here at [local park].”

Skateboarder #2: “Can we do a few more tricks here before we go?”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

(The three skateboarders turn to leave when the third, who has remained quiet the whole time, turns to me.)

Skateboarder #3: “I WORSHIP LUFFASIR SIX SIX SIX! What do you say to that!?”

Me: “Luffasir? It’s Lucifer, and I don’t need any more morons worshiping me. Now get the h*** out of here.”

(Skateboarder #3 turns red and quickly walks away followed by his buddies, who could not stop laughing.)

(I am standing in line at a restaurant, waiting to order lunch. I eat there often, and the owner has just decided a couple of weeks ago that the restrooms are for paying customers only. A woman rushes in; she seems to be quite ill.)

Woman: “Bathroom. Now, please!”

Owner: “Sorry, the bathroom is for paying customers only!”

(The woman glances at the long lunch line in dismay.)

Woman: “I can’t wait that long. Can I buy something after?”

Owner: “Nope, you have to buy something first.”

(The woman looks at the next person in line imploringly.)

Woman: “Do you mind if I cut?”

Customer #1: “Nope, go ahead!”

Owner: “No, you need to go to the back of the line!”

Woman: “But I need—”

Owner: “To the back!”

Woman: “But I’m going to—”

(The owner opens his mouth to cut her off again, but then the woman vomits all over the counter and the owner. A second customer comes over to support the woman.)

Customer #2: “Since the OWNER said that only paying customers can use the bathroom, the OWNER can clean that mess up. Let’s go somewhere else for lunch!”

(The ENTIRE waiting line of people turned around and left the restaurant! Turned out the woman was pregnant and suffering from morning sickness.)

This story is part of the second Pregnancy roundup!

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(I work at a bakery franchise that specializes in bundt cakes. On loyalty customers’ birthdays, they have the opportunity to come into the store and get a free mini cake. The following exchange happens the week before Halloween over the phone.)

Me: “Hello! Thank you for calling [Franchise]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi. I was just calling about the birthday bundtlet? I didn’t get one.”

Me: “Oh, geez, sorry about that. When did you come in?”

Caller: “I didn’t. I never got the email with the coupon on it.”

Me: “Okay. When did you sign up for the loyalty program?”

Caller: “Um, it was for my cousin’s birthday, so it was a while ago, and…”

(The customer proceeds to ramble on for a minute or so, making me suspicious that she signed up after her birthday.)

Me: “Okay, miss. If you come in with your ID, to prove that your birthday was within a week of today, I’ll check to make sure you’re on the loyalty program and get you that cake.”

Caller: “Oh, my birthday was in August. But my husband’s birthday is in a week, so I’ll just get a bundtlet for then.”

Me: “No, that won’t work. I’m sorry.”

Caller: “God, I f****** hate this store. You never work with your customers!”

This story is part of our Cake roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Spicy Stories About People Who Couldn’t Take The Heat!

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(A group of three customers enter the bar. They are wearing wristbands after attending a local MMA fight. The wristbands are supposed to be only for people of drinking age.)

Customer #1: “Hey, can I get three rum and cokes?”

Me: “Sure, I just need to see everyone’s ID.”

Customer #2: “Aw, s***, I don’t have my ID, man.”

Customer #1: “Well, you shouldn’t have let the cops take your ID!”

Me: “Right, well if you don’t have your ID on you, I can’t serve you.”

Customer #2: “But I got this wrist band at the fights. You can’t have one unless you’re old enough.”

Me: “Yeah, but if I can’t see your ID myself, it doesn’t do me much good.”

Customer #1: “Well, hey is [Other Bartender] here tonight?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer #1: “What about [Another Bartender]?”

Me: “Nope.”

(They leave. Ten minutes later, Customer #1 comes back with a different couple.)

Customer #1: “Hey, man, I’m gonna level with you…”

Me: “Alright…”

Customer #1: “Okay, that guy I was with before? Yeah, he’s only 20. But I’m totally 22, man.”

Me: “Have you got your ID with you so you can prove it?”

Customer #1: “Um… no.”

Me: “Then I can’t help you.”

Customer #1: “C’mon, you’re really gonna be like that?”

Me: “Uh, yeah.”