A Half-Baked Notion

(I am an 18-year-old male. I work at a local bakery around the corner from my house on the weekends. I’m busy dealing with a customer, who happens to be my sister, who is older by five years. Since it’s quiet at the moment, I’m just having a quick chat with her whilst my coworker deals with the only other customer in the store.)

Me: “Well, anyway, I should get back to clearing the shelves. I will see you at home later?”

Sister: “Yeah, sure!”

(The other customer has apparently been eavesdropping, and walks up to my sister.)

Customer: “Don’t you think you should wait until you’re older before you start dating men?”

(The customer then turns to me.)

Customer: “AND YOU! You should be ashamed of yourself! This girl can’t be more than 16, and you’re taking advantage of her!”

(To be fair my sister is short and very slim. I’m 6′ 2″ and quite bulky, so she is often mistaken for being younger than me.)

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but you seem to have misunderstood. This is my sister, and she’s actually older than me.”

Customer: “Don’t you try to justify yourself to me, you monster; you’re taking advantage of this poor girl.”

(The customer then tries to take my sister by the hand and lead her out of the store.)

Customer: “Come with me, dear; I won’t let that man hurt you.”

Sister: “No, that really is my brother! You don’t understand.”

Customer: “No, dear, don’t believe his lies. Let’s get you away from here and call the police.”

(He drags my sister out onto the street. I rush after them, because as far as I’m concerned, this man is in the act of kidnapping my sister.)

Me: “Hey, stop! GET OFF MY SISTER!”

(The man turns around to face me, at which point several other store owners have come out to see what’s going on. I decide to make a last ditch attempt to reason with this man before I try and force him to let go of my sister.)

Me: “Look, I’ve got my ID on me and so does my sister! If we show them to you, will you accept that what were telling you is the truth?”

Customer: “Fine, but I warn you: I know fakes when I see them!”

(My sister and I both show our IDs, which bear the exact same surname and our dates of birth. I see that it all finally clicks into place in the customer’s brain.)

Customer: “Oh, well, why didn’t you just say so?”

(The customer saunters off down the street, merry as you like. Once were sure he’s gone, my sister walks round the corner back home. It’s only then we realize that in all the drama, the customer never actually paid for the bread and cakes he had bought. We all now wonder if he just forgot like we did, or if we were a victim of the most impressive scam to steal bread and cake in history!)