(I work at a bakery franchise that specializes in bundt cakes. On loyalty customers’ birthdays, they have the opportunity to come into the store and get a free mini cake. The following exchange happens the week before Halloween over the phone.)

Me: “Hello! Thank you for calling [Franchise]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi. I was just calling about the birthday bundtlet? I didn’t get one.”

Me: “Oh, geez, sorry about that. When did you come in?”

Caller: “I didn’t. I never got the email with the coupon on it.”

Me: “Okay. When did you sign up for the loyalty program?”

Caller: “Um, it was for my cousin’s birthday, so it was a while ago, and…”

(The customer proceeds to ramble on for a minute or so, making me suspicious that she signed up after her birthday.)

Me: “Okay, miss. If you come in with your ID, to prove that your birthday was within a week of today, I’ll check to make sure you’re on the loyalty program and get you that cake.”

Caller: “Oh, my birthday was in August. But my husband’s birthday is in a week, so I’ll just get a bundtlet for then.”

Me: “No, that won’t work. I’m sorry.”

Caller: “God, I f****** hate this store. You never work with your customers!”

This story is part of our Cake roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Spicy Stories About People Who Couldn’t Take The Heat!

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(I am 21 years old, and a huge ‘Pokémon’ fan. I notice that my receipt for the new Pokémon game is wrong, so I go in to check what happened. At the counter next to me is a middle-aged woman buying ‘Grand Theft Auto 5’ for her young son, who is no older than nine. The game is intended for 18-year-olds minimum.)

Me: “Excuse me; the deposit for the new Pokémon is £5, but I’ve been charged twice for it.”

Employee: “Oh, sorry, let me have a look.”

(I hand him the receipt, while the woman stares at me.)

Woman: “You’re a little old to be playing Pokémon aren’t you?”

Me: “And your son’s a little young to be playing Grand Theft Auto isn’t he?”

(The employees can’t help but laugh. The woman goes red-faced.)

Woman: “That’s completely different.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m getting a game intended for kids and your kid is getting a game intended for adults.”

Woman: “Well he knows full well not to repeat anything they do in those games; he is a smart boy. Who do you think you are to judge me anyway?”

Me: “Lady… as far as I’m concerned, if my game purchases are your business then your game purchases are my business.”

Woman: “Well I just hope my boy is smart enough to know when it is time to grow up.”

Boy: “Yeah, f*** you!”

(The employees and I burst out laughing as the mother throws the game onto the counter and drags her son out of the shop with him screaming at her that he wants his ‘f****** game.’)

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
Grand Theft Innocence

This story is part of our Pokémon roundup!

Read the next Pokémon Roundup story!

Read the Pokémon Roundup!

(I’m calling my bank’s call center.)

Me: “Hello, I have a small problem. I’m using your website, and I need to transfer some money to a foreign museum’s account. They have asked me to take care of all the expenses, including those for their bank.”

Bank Representative: “Yes, you can select the option to charge all the expenses on their account.”

Me: “Um, yes, I saw that. But what I need to do is the opposite. I need to pay all the expenses myself, and not make them pay for everything; there doesn’t seem to be an option for this on your website. I was wondering if there was any way to do it, or if you had any suggestions.”

Bank Representative: “You CAN’T do that!”

Me: “Yes, I know there’s no option for that. I’m asking if there’s any way I could make sure they don’t—”

(At this point the representative starts yelling at me.)

Bank Representative: “You CAN’T DO THAT!”

Me: “Yes, as I was saying, I—”

Bank Representative: “You CAN’T do that! You can’t! You CAN’T!”

Me: “I—”

Bank Representative: “YOU CAN’T DO THAT! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

Me: “Huh. Alright, thank you very much. Have a nice day…”

October 2013 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for the month of October!

1. Stress About The Dress (4,138 thumbs up)
2. Finally Singing To The Same Tune (3,956 thumbs up)
3. He’s The Best Actor Of The Bunch (3,251 thumbs up)
4. Putting Your Son Into A Sweet Disposition (2,794 thumbs up)
5. The Grandmother Of All Threats (2,711 thumbs up)

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(I am finishing ringing up a sale for a customer. The final step on the signature pad is to confirm the transaction total.)

Me: “Okay, sir, just say ‘yes’ to confirm the total on the signature pad and I’ll get you your receipt.”

(The screen on the pad has two buttons: one reading ‘yes’ and one reading ‘no.’ The customer leans down with his mouth close to the pad and shouts…)

Customer: “YES!”