An Explosive Assumption

, , , , , , | Working | November 6, 2020

I’m waiting in line to do a return. It’s early morning, and the store is empty except for the employee behind the counter, a woman in line in front of me, and me. The woman in line is wearing a green jacket with a vaguely military cut, but she’s clearly not in uniform.

Woman: “Hi, I need to return this wireless keyboard. Most of the keys don’t work.”

The employee looks at the keyboard.

Employee: “Unfortunately, your warranty doesn’t cover accidental drops. Can you tell me what happened?”

The woman starts miming the accident.

Woman: “So, I had it sitting on a table, and I was trying to look up… Actually, I’ll just get to the relevant part. It was hit by a mortar a—”

Employee: “A mortar?! Oh, my God, are you okay?!

Woman: “No, it—”

Employee: “Where were you?! I’m amazed this is all that happened!”

Woman: “I wa—”

Employee: “Of course, we’ll get this replaced! You just wait right here!”

He grabs the keyboard and rushes into the back. The woman turns back to me with her mouth open mid-word and her hands still held up miming the action of grinding something.

Woman: “…and pestle. It was hit by a mortar and pestle. That I dropped.”

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