These Are Not The Dreams You Are Looking For

My mattress is long overdue for a replacement and, while I’m pretty sure what I want already, my dad convinces me to shop around with him for a day.

Our first stop is a local mattress store that neither of us has been to before. After a minute or so of browsing, a grinning salesperson comes up to us, asks us what we’re looking for, our price range, etc. All’s normal so far.

My dad and I mumble between each other for a bit.

Me: *To the salesperson* “We’re just browsing for now and still have a few more stores we want to check out. This was only our first stop.”

The salesperson, still smiling and now making direct eye contact, says:

Salesperson: “You don’t need to go anywhere else. We have everything you need right here.”

Her words are complete with a small hand wave at her hip punctuating each statement.

Dad and I catch each other’s eyes with a “Did you just see that?” look before thanking her for her time and making a beeline for the exit.

We were safely on the road again before we finally burst out laughing at the salesperson who tried to Jedi-mind-trick us into buying a mattress from her! That store went out of business shortly after, so I don’t think it ever worked, either!