When The Eaves Drops

(Earlier today, I was eating out at a restaurant, and I had a couple come up to me to berate me about stuff I’d said about my food preferences to the friends I was eating with. We basically ignored them until they went away, and later, I share the story with another friend as we are riding the bus home.)

Me: “It’s just crazy how some rude a**holes think they have the right to listen in and comment on other people’s conversations.”

Friend: “Yeah. Some people just can’t help sticking their noses in.”

(Right then, someone taps me on my shoulder, and I turn to see a lady standing over the seat, glaring at me.)

Lady: “How dare you talk about me that way?!”

Me: “What?”

Lady: “I’m not an… an… a butthole.”

(I finally cotton on to the fact that this lady had been eavesdropping on us, and is now upset that we’ve called people who eavesdrop a**holes.)

Me: “I didn’t know you existed until you hit my shoulder, and I was talking about someone else, but now I am talking about you. You’re an a**hole for thinking you have the right to butt into our conversation.”

(She sputtered for a moment before turning and trying to stomp back to her seat, two rows back and across the aisle, made difficult by the bus swaying a little due to the road.)