Want To Die Slowly? Get A Job In Retail!

(I’ve had a horrible twelve months, and I’m at the end of my rope. An older customer comes in to pay for her fuel and return a rental vehicle. This is definitely Not Always Working due to my depressed, monotone voice. Bear in mind, her way of saying hello is, “I’m paying for fuel and returning this car.”)

Me: “No problem. Just park around the back and I’ll run out and get the kilometers.”

(I run out after she returns, look at the kilometers, and come back in a little confused as she has mentioned she’s had the car a week and barely driven it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but you said you’ve had the car a week?”

Customer: “Yes, just a week.”

Me: “Okay, well, according to the paperwork, you’ve driven over 200 kilometres. No problem. I’ll just call the bosses and figure out whatever is going on. You’re fine to go. Have a good one.” 

(The lady goes to leave but pauses at the door and turns back to me.)

Customer: “I have to say, your customer service skills are absolutely horrible.”

(I pause from where I was walking to serve another client.)

Me: “Yeah, well… I hate my life and just want to die, sooo…” *gives two thumbs up and grins sarcastically before continuing to approach the next customer*