Touch Technology

(I write the schedule for my store. In the past, I’ve had access to my own schedule. I don’t write my own schedule, but from time to time it’s been handy when a manager is busy and I need my personal schedule to be changed. Recently they updated the software and I can no longer access my personal schedule. I tend to talk without thinking. The following conversation happens with one of the main bosses, who is the strictest.)

Me: “I was just on the schedule software and noticed a change. I can no longer touch myself. Is there a reason I can no longer touch myself?”

Boss: “Um, yes…. You can’t touch yourself.”