One Mother, One Cup

, , , , | Right | November 10, 2010

Customer: “Hi I need to return this.” *hands over an opened and clearly worn jock cup*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, this is a completely non-returnable item.”

Customer: “I called and you said your return policy is thirty days with receipt.”

Me: “That’s except for jocks and mouth-guards. Cashiers tell you at the time of purchase that they’re completely non-returnable.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t understand. So, there’s nothing you can do for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s store policy based on our health-code.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that my little boy would have such a big wee-wee?” *grabs her very embarrassed-looking son and leaves*

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Literally Going Nowhere

, , , , , , | Right | September 7, 2010

Me: “Hi, ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “It’s this stupid GPS watch that I bought. What a big waste of money!  It doesn’t even work.”

Me: “What’s the problem with it?”

Customer: “It shows the time, but not now how far I ran. I was running on the treadmill for over thirty minutes!”

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The Cup Is Definitely Half Empty

, , , | Right | March 2, 2010

(A woman and her twelve year-old son are buying hockey equipment.)

Me: “Okay, you’ll also need a cup and supporter for him.”

Customer: “How do I know what size he needs?”

Me: “The supporter is based on his waist size. Do you know his waist size?”

Customer: “Yes, but how do I know what size the cup should be for him?”

Me: “Well, you’d know better than me! I’d recommend the teen size.”

Customer: “No. If he’s anything like his father, he’ll need an extra-small.”

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Ironically, He Works With Balls…

| Right | April 17, 2009

Customer: “I’m going to be pitching for my softball team, and I need a cup and jockstrap.”

Me: “Sure thing, they’re right over here.”

Customer: “How do you know what size to get?”

Me: “The jockstraps are measured by waistband size. All the cups are the same size.”

Customer: “Those cups are all huge! There’s no way I can fill one of those up!”

Me: “…”

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It (Almost) Never Hurts To Check

, , | Right | June 1, 2008

Customer: “Let me see that knife in the case.”

Me: “Here ya go.”

Customer: “I don’t think this knife is sharp enough.”

Me: “Really? ”

(The customer pulls the blade across his palm, slicing his hand open and spilling blood all over the floor.)

Customer: “I guess it is.”

Me: “Would you like some paper towels?”

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