Me: “Hello, sir. Welcome to [Golf Equipment Store]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Where can I find the swimming pool equipment?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We only manage golf equipment.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, but where’s the stuff for the pool? I mean, like filters and those tube-y things that float.”

Me: “Sir, we only sell golf equipment. Golf clubs, golf balls, and the like. We do not sell swimming pool equipment, only golf.”

Customer: “What kind of golf store doesn’t have swimming pool stuff?!”

This story is part of our Golf roundup!

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(I am a saleswoman who finished organizing the men’s underwear about 10 minutes before a customer walks in.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need [pair of underwear] in a size medium.”

Me: “I am terribly sorry, but we are out of that particular size in that brand.”

Customer: “No, I do not believe you. Can you not check?”

Me: “I can assure you I organized the underwear not too long ago, but I would love to check for you. If we do not have it, I can order it for you.”

(I recheck, and the underwear is not there.)

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, would you like me to order it for you?”

Customer: “No, I will go somewhere else.”

(As she leaves, she passes by my manager.)

Customer: *whispering loudly* “Do you know your female employee spends her free time in men’s underwear?”

Manager: “Do you know I make her?”

This story is part of the Underwear roundup!

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This story is part of our Perfect Comebacks roundup!

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Customer: “Hi I need to return this.” *hands over an opened and clearly worn jock cup*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, this is a completely non-returnable item.”

Customer: “I called and you said your return policy is thirty days with receipt.”

Me: “That’s except for jocks and mouth-guards. Cashiers tell you at the time of purchase that they’re completely non-returnable.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t understand. So, there’s nothing you can do for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s store policy based on our health-code.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that my little boy would have such a big wee-wee?” *grabs her very embarrassed-looking son and leaves*

This story is part of the Embarrassing Parents roundup!

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Me: “Hi, ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “It’s this stupid GPS watch that I bought. What a big waste of money! It doesn’t even work.”

Me: “What’s the problem with it?”

Customer: “It shows the time, but not now how far I ran. I was running on the treadmill for over thirty minutes!”

This story is part of the More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

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(A woman and her twelve-year-old son are buying hockey equipment.)

Me: “Okay, you’ll also need a cup and supporter for him.”

Customer: “How do I know what size he needs?”

Me: “The supporter is based on his waist size. Do you know his waist size?”

Customer: “Yes, but how do I know what size the cup should be for him?”

Me: “Well, you’d know better than me! I’d recommend the teen size.”

Customer: “No. If he’s anything like his father, he’ll need an extra-small.”

This story is part of the Embarrassing Parents roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Reasons Why Your Mother Is Awesome – And Why You Should Call Her!

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