(A man drops two packs of briefs on the counter).

Me: “Even exchange, sir?”

Man: *indignantly* “I need the right size!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Man: “They’re the wrong size!”

Me: “Which ones aren’t the right size?”

Man: “I need the right size!”

Me: “…So you’re returning these?”

Man: “I need the right size!”

(At a loss, I call my coworker over).

Coworker: *looks at the packages* “Even exchange?”

Man: “I need the right size!”

Coworker: “So you’re returning both?”

Man: “Read what it says there.” points at one of the packs*

Me: “Um… Big Men’s Briefs? Size 2X?”

Man: “I need the right size!”

Coworker: “What size do you need, sir?”

Man: “44 to 46!”

Coworker: *checks pack* “That’s what this IS!”

Man: “I need the right size!”

Coworker: “Then you have to go find it. We don’t have it up here.”

Man, bellowing: “This is BULLS***! F*****’ A**HOLE!”

(Everyone in line falls dead silent).

Me: “So… you are returning these, then?”

Man: “I need the right size!”

Me: “Okay–”

Man: “These don’t fit me! I need briefs that fit! I’m a big guy!”

(We finally figure out that the briefs in the bag weren’t the size marked on the package).

Coworker: “Well, you’ll have to go find another pair, then.”

Man: “YOU go find another pair!”

Coworker: “We can’t do that! Go check the aisle!”

Man: “I did already! There aren’t any!”

Coworker: “THEN YOU’LL HAVE TO GO TO ANOTHER STORE!”

Man: “YOU call another store! Find them for me!”

Coworker: *turns to me* “Call another store.”

Me: “I… um… okay, sir, you can sit down over there and we’ll call to you when we find them.”

Man: “Speak up, I can’t understand a word–”

Me: “SIT DOWN AND WE’LL CALL YOU!”

(Our manager walks by. He comes over and gets the guy to agree to just return the briefs).

Manager: “Do you have a receipt?”

Man: “No!”

Manager: “Okay, do you want the money back as store credit or on your charge card?”

Man: “What? Just give me the money!”

Manager: “That’s what I’m trying to do. Store credit or–”

Man: “WHAT? JUST GIVE ME BACK THE MONEY!”

Manager: “Store credit it is.”

(I am currently working in the electronics section of a discount superstore when I am approached by a customer, which is surprising since the state is being hit by a significantly large ice storm.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like to pick up my pictures.”

Me: “Hmm… it seems they aren’t in yet. When did you send them out?”

Customer #1: *very angry* “They were supposed to be in today!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the lab where they are processed is hours away and it’s too dangerous for the drivers to be out on the roads today.”

Customer #1: “Well, I made it. How come they can’t?”

Me: “Sir, you live on the street behind the building, which is a much shorter and safer distance compared to the over 120 miles the driver would have to drive, especially on roads that even emergency vehicles won’t go onto.”

Customer #1: “I was told my pictures were going to be back today, and I want them today!”

(I’m about to apologize to the man but am beaten to the punch by the customer behind him…)

Customer #2: “Yeah! You guys should have dog sleds on the side just in case.”

Customer #1: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

Customer #2: *in a very apologetic tone* “I’m sorry, I thought it was my turn to make insane demands.”

Customer #1: *storms off talking to the air about how rude people are*

Customer #2: “That was fun!” *walks away*

(Unfortunately, I never got to thank that second customer. Wherever you are, [Customer #2], thank you.)

This story is part of our Chilly Weather Roundup!

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(I’m a girl, and I work in a video game store.)

Dude: “Are you guys hiring?”

Me: “No, we just let some people go actually.”

Dude: “Oh, I assumed they were desperate. I mean, they hired a girl.”

Me: “I’ve worked here for three years.”

Dude: “Oh, well can I ask the manager anyway?”

Me: “Sure, he’s standing right over there.” *points to next register*

Manager: “Don’t even ask. You just insulted my assistant manager.”

Customer: “I want to buy these pans that I saw on sale online.”

Me: “Alright, ma’am, what brand are they?”

Customer: “I don’t know that!”

Me: “Okay… how much are they?”

Customer: “I don’t know that either!”

Me: “Do you perhaps have a photo of the pans?”

Customer: “I didn’t have time to do that!”

Me: “Alright, ma’am, sometimes things sold online are not sold in store.”

Customer: “All I know is that they were at this store and they were different colors.”

Me: “What colors were the pans?”

Customer: “I don’t remember!”

(I show her every pot and pan set that was a different color from the norm. E.g., orange, green, and blue. Of course, that wasn’t what she wanted. She picks out an item that wasn’t even close to like she wanted in the first place. She goes to put the item in her cart, but she had lots of stuff in her cart and it doesn’t fit.)

Customer: “What am I supposed to do, it doesn’t fit in my cart!”

(She acted like it was my fault the stuff didn’t fit. I guess I was supposed to shrink the box for her.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, why don’t you take some stuff out. Put the big stuff on the bottom and the small stuff on the top.”

Customer: *looks at me like a deer in the headlights*

(I was paged to another area of the store and walked away from her. I’m sure I would have punched her otherwise.)

(I was working in the back, getting things ready for the next floor set, and I had to pull some mannequins from the floor and dress them. I was dragging one of the full-body forms towards the back, when a customer approached me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

(Note that I’m wearing the uniform and I still have a headset in my ear.)

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m stealing this mannequin.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. thanks.”

(She turns around to find someone else to help her.)