(This conversation happens with my now ex-in-laws at their place. We’ve been talking about odd animals and I mention narwhals.)

Wife: “What the h*** is a narwhal?”

Me: “It’s a whale that lives in the polar region with a huge bone spike on its nose, like a unicorn, but bigger and real.”

Wife: “Well I’ve never heard of it. No animal has a horn like a unicorn. You’re just wrong.”

Mother-in-law: “I agree. No animal would have something like that, especially not an animal that lives in the water; there’s just no need for it. You must be mistaken.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll prove I’m not making this up…”

(I hop on the computer and pull pictures and info on the narwhal.)

Wife: “Okay, well maybe you are right, then.”

(At this point my grandmother-in-law walks over.)

Grandmother-in-law: “Are they pictures of the sea unicorns?”

Me: “Thank you! Someone else who knows about this animal.”

Grandmother-in-law: “Oh, no, honey. They’re not real. They’re make-believe, like unicorns.”

Wife and Mother-in-law: “See! I knew you were wrong!”

Wife: “God, you can be so stupid some times. Believing in fake animals!”

This story is part of our Unicorn roundup!

Read the next Unicorn roundup story!

Read the Unicorn roundup!

This story is part of our Mother-In-Law roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to see the roundup? Click here!

(My fiancé is with my family for Thanksgiving dinner. My parents have a large dog that has to stay in the kennel during mealtime, because he begs too much. He keeps making strange noises because he wants the food.)

Fiancé: “You know what I just noticed? The dog sounds a lot like a Goron!”

Me: “Honey, your nerd is showing.”

Mom: “Wait, he sounds like a what?”

Me: “A Goron. They’re one of the creatures from the Legend of Zelda games.”

Dad: “In that case, yeah, your nerd is hanging out all over the place. I might have to mop up the floor because you’re oozing nerd all over my dining room.”

(Shortly thereafter, one of my aunts asks me if I have seen the latest ‘Harry Potter’ movie.)

Me: “Yeah, but that was a while ago. I had a big marathon, read all seven books and watched all the rest of the movies within two weeks!”

Aunt: “Wow. That must’ve been hard.”

Me: “It was a little time consuming, but worth it. What I’m excited for now is The Hobbit. I’ve been giddy over it ever since I found out it was being made into a movie. And my roommate and I are going to see it in IMAX, because then we’ll get to see a nine minute preview of the next Star Trek movie!”

(There is a short pause while my family looks at me like I have six heads.)

Fiancé: “Honey, your nerd is showing.”

(We’re laying in my bed cuddling after watching a movie. We’ve been dating for a long while now and haven’t gotten to the ‘I love you’ quite yet. We’re watching ‘The Walking Dead’.)

Boyfriend: *sits up, dislodging me from my position and completely wide eyed* “Oh, my god!”

Me: *confused* “What?”

Boyfriend: *suddenly shy* “I… I love you.”

Me: *confused, and pleasantly surprised* “I love you, too.”

(And then we resumed our cuddling and watching ‘The Walking Dead’.)

(My brothers and I are playing poker with a friend of ours. It is my older brother’s turn to deal, but he gets distracted and ends up handing out an uneven number of cards to everyone.)

Older Brother: “How many cards do you have?”

Me: “I’ve only got six.”

Younger Brother: “Seven.”

Friend: “Eight.”

Me: “You can’t math!”

(Long pause.)

Older Brother: “Yeah? Well you can’t ENGLISH!”

(My son is sitting on the sofa, reading a book.)

Son: “Mum, I found the meaning of life!”

Me: “Oh, really? What is it?”

Son: “It’s right here!”

(He walks over to me, shows me the dictionary, and points to the word ‘life’.)