He’s Been Dealt With

(My brothers and I are playing poker with a friend of ours. It is my older brother’s turn to deal, but he gets distracted and ends up handing out an uneven number of cards to everyone.)

Older Brother: “How many cards do you have?”

Me: “I’ve only got six.”

Younger Brother: “Seven.”

Friend: “Eight.”

Me: “You can’t math!”

(Long pause.)

Older Brother: “Yeah? Well you can’t ENGLISH!”