Her Brain Ain’t Doin’ So Hot
On a trip to the coast in a quaint tourist town, I decide on a sandwich for lunch. I end up in a deli that promises “freshly made sandwiches, hot and cold”. There is quite a variety on the menu.
Me: “Hi. May I have a cold cheese and ham baguette, please?”
Server: “No problem.”
I see her take a baguette already filled with cheese from the counter. She turns round to where all the cold meats are, and I expect her to put some ham in the baguette. However, she bags it up and passes it to me.
Me: “Did you put ham in that?”
Server: “I did not, sir, as you said you wanted it cold.”
Me: *Utterly baffled* “Err, can you not just put the ham in now?”
Server: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can only do a ham and cheese baguette hot.”
Me: “So, are there some already hot?”
Server: “No, sir. I need to make it up, put it in the oven, and then serve it hot.”
Me: *Increasingly baffled* ”So, you make it cold before you put it in the oven. Can I have one before you put it in the oven?”
The server looks at me as if trying to work it out.
Server: “I can do that, but it would need to be in one of these—” *holds up a ciabatta roll* “—as those are the only ones that we can do hot.”
I realised that any further argument was pointless and simply accepted a cold cheese and ham ciabatta roll. I left the shop still trying to work out what had actually happened and went and sat on the sea wall to enjoy my “cold ham and cheese baguette”.