Only Half-Listening To Half-Off

, , , | Right | June 27, 2018

(We cook rotisserie chickens all day. To try to keep from throwing away too many, if chickens have been out of the oven and on warmers for three hours, we mark them down to half-price. This particular customer is a semi-regular and is always looking for half-off chickens. She has on multiple occasions mentioned the three-hour limit, so she’s well aware of how the discount works. We’ve completely sold out of our older batch of chickens, so all that’s left are the chickens I’ve pulled fresh out of the oven. I see her walking up to the counter.)

Me: “Good afternoon! Sorry, I know you like the half-off chickens, but all we have right now are ones fresh out of the oven.”

Customer: “I’ll wait!”

Me: “Well, I just pulled them out of the oven a minute ago, so it would be quite a wait.”

Customer: “I’ll take from what you have in front of you.”

Me: “You’d like a fresh one? Sure!”

Customer: “No, I want a half-off one.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’ve sold out of the older batch; all we have are these ones I’ve just pulled out of the oven, no marked-down ones.”

Customer: “Oh, then just give me the cheapest, freshest ones you have!”

Me: “Sure thing!”

(I proceed to give her exactly what she requested: our smaller-sized, cheaper chickens, since all of them were pulled out of the oven at the same time. She walks away thanking me. About five minutes later, she comes back.)

Customer: “I think we misunderstood each other; I wanted the half-off chickens!”

Me: *stunned for a moment, wondering how there could have possibly been any misunderstanding, but quickly gathering myself* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but as I explained, we had, and still have, no chickens that have been out long enough to be marked down.”

Customer: “Then I’m putting the ones you gave me back!”

(She did exactly that and walked off. I really don’t know if she was just hearing what she wanted to hear or hoping her persistence would have me eventually mark down a chicken way too early, but I’m still contemplating how I could have possibly been any clearer.)

Ask Them To Tenderly Clarify

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2018

(At our hot case, over half of our food available is various types of chicken; we have tenders, popcorn style, hot wings, boneless buffalo, and more. That being said, this exact conversation happens way more often than I’d like to count.)

Me: “Hey there. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’ll have some chicken.”

Me: *screaming internally*

What Do They Think “Collection” Means?

, , , , | Right | May 31, 2018

(The establishment I work for is similar to a small-scale grocery store and garden center combined. We offer delivery services to local businesses. The store stops deliveries after two pm. The following exchange happens after six pm.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like two pounds of ham and a pound of cheese for delivery, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we stop deliveries after two pm. I have no staff able to bring it to you right now.”

Customer: “NO, NO! I want to pick it up myself! That’s why I said I wanted it for delivery! God, can’t you listen?!”


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Heartfelt Antagonism

, , , | Right | May 31, 2018

(The store I work for sells various types of fried chicken, wings, and tenders. A former customer is notorious for coming in late around closing and complaining that the product is sold out or past expiration and unable to be sold. Our butcher station is located next to the chicken holding station. Our butcher has cut steaks into heart shapes for people to celebrate Valentine’s Day with.)

Customer: “Do you have any tenders left?”

Employee: “No, they all sold out earlier.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous; every time I come in there are none of the ones I want left!”

Employee: “I’m sorry. Unfortunately, they are the most popular and tend to sell out first. If you’d like to call ahead in the future, we will be sure to put some aside and make you a fresh batch.”

(Unsatisfied with this, she huffs out of the store. The following night she comes in and I cringe, seeing how the exchange is going to go. This time she has her boyfriend with her. The woman goes to the butcher station to browse our selection of steaks. She picks one up and is holding it. Her boyfriend quietly comes to the chicken station and sees that the chicken she desires is once again out. He approaches her. I’m watching to see how this unfolds. Shouting in my direction she yells:)

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous; I’ve had it! I’m never coming in again and it’s your fault!”

(She then rips the car keys out of her boyfriends hands and throws the heart-shaped steak in my direction. Both customers leave in an angry manner.)

Coworker: “At least it was heart-shaped! She left you a token of her love!”

(God bless you, poor man, and good riddance, crazy chicken lady.)

Off (The Clock) Behavior

, , , , | | Working | May 27, 2018

(I work in the deli section of a small, independent grocery store. It’s twenty minutes past my shift end, and I’m still in the store doing some personal shopping before going home. A coworker, who has been rude to me before, starts calling out, “Deli! Deli! DELI!” until I turn around. She is with a regular customer, who gets specialty bread from the freezer out back.)

Coworker: “Do you know where the bread is? The specialty one?”

Me: “Yes, but—”

Coworker: “Go fetch it, then.”

Me: “No, I’m not on shift. It’s in the freezer and clearly labelled.”

(I go to leave. I’ve been paying for my stuff while this happens:)

Coworker: “No, you need to get it.” *to the customer* “She’ll get it for you. No worries.”

(Just as I’m about to tell her goodbye and leave, my boss — the owner of this particular store — comes out, and having heard part of the conversation, turns to me and says:)

Boss: “You can spare two minutes. I’ll wait.”

(I hate these people.)

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