(I take my three-year-old boy shopping for clothes. We’re successfully mid-potty training, so I promised I’d buy him some real pants so he could be ‘like Daddy’. We get to the till.)
Son: “Hello!”
Cashier: “Hello! Have you been shopping?”
Son: “Yes! I’m like Daddy!”
Cashier: “Really? How’s that?”
Son: “Scratching my bottom.”
(I work in the girl’s department of the store where we have many items of clothing with peace signs on them. I’m putting some clothes away when an elderly lady comes up behind me.)
Customer: “There are a lot of peace signs.”
Me: “Yeah, I guess they’re popular.”
Customer: “Not with me!”
(A man is browsing through the lingerie and I approach to see if he needs help.)
Me: “Are you shopping for a gift for your girlfriend?”
Customer: “Naw, it’s for shawty, my hollaback girl!”
Manager: “And who was helping you today?”
Customer #1: *points to me* “That nice blue-haired girl over there. I think it’s so fun that she has blue hair. Very unique.”
Manager: “We think it’s awesome. Have a good day!” *turns to next customer* “Hello! Who helped you out today?”
Customer #2: *points to me* “That heathen with the blue devil hair and no makeup on.”
Manager: “That’ll be $34.50. You have a nice day.”
Customer #2: *yells across store* “Thank you for the help, heathen!”
Every Worker In The Store: “YOU’RE WELCOME!”
(I have just started working at a popular women’s lingerie store and still don’t really know all of the bras that we sell.)
Customer: “I am looking for a bra. I don’t know the name of it, but I know what it looks like.”
Me: “Well, if you can tell me about it, I can help you find it.”
Customer: “I think it’s called the Unstoppable.”
Me: “Oh, that’s the Unforgettable.”
Customer: “No, no, that’s not it.”
Me: “Well, would you like me to show you the bra I have in mind?”
Customer: “No, thank you! You have been no help at all and if I see a manager, I’m going to talk to her.”
(The customer walks off and then comes back holding the Unforgettable bra.)
Customer: “I found it! It was the Unforgettable, just like I told you!”
