Should Have Checked Before They Checked

(I work in a true dollar store; everything really is a dollar or less, so the company cuts corners where they can to save on expenses. Some bank has put out television commercials explaining that their “new” debit cards “work just like a check!” A customer comes up with an armful of items. Not much at all. I scan everything.)

Me: “Your total is [amount less than ten dollars].”

Customer: *silently hands me a card*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! We only accept cash or checks.”

Customer: “This is a check.”

Me: “No, it’s a debit card. We only accept paper checks.”

Customer: “This IS a check. It is a check card.”

Me: “Yes, I know. But we don’t accept them. We never have.”

Customer: “You said you accept checks. This is a check card. You will accept it.”

Me: “I’m afraid we can’t. We have never accepted debit cards.”

Customer: “It works just like a check!”

Me: “Actually, it really doesn’t. It takes money from your checking account, yes, but using them requires additional equipment that the store does not have as well as a dedicated phone line, I believe.”

(Our cash registers are extremely barebones. Barely a step above old-fashioned mechanical types as far as capabilities go.)

Customer: “Are you calling my bank a liar?”

Me: “Maybe not a liar, but certainly misleading from the business perspective.”

Customer: “Well I don’t HAVE cash or a check! YOU just lost the store a sale.”

Me: “Sorry?”