I wasn’t at work when this happened but received a text with a woman’s picture and a note that she is banned from the store. I get to work the next day and hear the full story.

Our employees-only bathroom is in the back room, along with employee lockers and all overstock. Therefore, we don’t have a public restroom. We are in a strip shopping center with a grocery store, two restaurants, and a few other stores, so when a customer asks to use the restroom, we tell them the locations of other public restrooms in the center.

In our back room, we have an area under the sink with a faucet about two feet off the floor with a small retaining wall on the floor surrounding a drain hole in the floor. This is used to fill up our mop bucket.

A woman approached the cashier.

Woman: “Where is your restroom?”

Coworker #1: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have one.”

Woman: “Let me use the employee restroom, then.”

My coworker then explained why she couldn’t use that one. She said fine and went about her shopping. The woman paid for a couple of things and left.

Another employee came up to the register, wide-eyed and mouth agape.

Coworker #2: “I was in the back taking my break when this woman came into the back room, tried the restroom door, and then proceeded to drop her shorts, squat over the drain, and pee! She grabbed some paper towels, wiped, and went on her merry way. I was in too much shock to say anything to her!”

They poured an entire bottle of bleach in the drain and mopped up around it. The next day, the manager went to a big box store to buy another mop bucket and mop.

(I’m a cashier at a dollar store. Two teenagers, who have been causing a bit of a ruckus, finally check out.)

Teen #1: *pointing to a chocolate bar* “That’s a dollar, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Teen #1: *pointing to another chocolate bar* “And this is 50 cents, right?”

Me: “No… it’s a dollar. Your total is $3.50.”

Teen #2: “So, it’s not all a dollar! You’re cheating us!”

Me: *sighs* “There are mandatory taxes on these products.”

Teen #1: “I’m under 18. I don’t pay taxes.”

Me: *not having time for their games* “Pay or I’ll get my manager.”

(They paid without protest and left. Whose life is so sad that they have to go and bug people working in a dollar store?)

(I work in a true dollar store; everything really is a dollar or less, so the company cuts corners where they can to save on expenses. Some bank has put out television commercials explaining that their “new” debit cards “work just like a check!” A customer comes up with an armful of items. Not much at all. I scan everything.)

Me: “Your total is [amount less than ten dollars].”

Customer: *silently hands me a card*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! We only accept cash or checks.”

Customer: “This is a check.”

Me: “No, it’s a debit card. We only accept paper checks.”

Customer: “This IS a check. It is a check card.”

Me: “Yes, I know. But we don’t accept them. We never have.”

Customer: “You said you accept checks. This is a check card. You will accept it.”

Me: “I’m afraid we can’t. We have never accepted debit cards.”

Customer: “It works just like a check!”

Me: “Actually, it really doesn’t. It takes money from your checking account, yes, but using them requires additional equipment that the store does not have as well as a dedicated phone line, I believe.”

(Our cash registers are extremely barebones. Barely a step above old-fashioned mechanical types as far as capabilities go.)

Customer: “Are you calling my bank a liar?”

Me: “Maybe not a liar, but certainly misleading from the business perspective.”

Customer: “Well I don’t HAVE cash or a check! YOU just lost the store a sale.”

Me: “Sorry?”

(Years ago, I was working in my hometown’s dollar store. One night it suddenly starts pouring outside. I am very concerned about having slippery floors, so I grab the wet floor signs and set them on either side of my register where people first walk in. A couple of customers have come in, so I use the dry mop to soak up the water. It isn’t two minutes later when a customer walks in and falls while I have my back turned. I run over to him.)

Me: “Sir, are you okay?”

Man: “…”

Me: “Do you need help up? Would you like a chair to sit in?”

Man: “…no.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(I watch as he limps away, looking at a spot on his shin. The man later comes up to my counter with his purchases.)

Man: “Since I fell, I should have my stuff for free.”

Me: *thinking he is joking* “Haha, yeah…”

Man: *mumbles* “I’m probably going to have to talk to my lawyer.”

(Confused, I finish taking care of him and he leaves. I go to talk with my supervisor about everything. She later receives a phone call. I hear her laughing across the store after it’s finished. The supervisor brings me into the office.)

Supervisor: “You are never going to believe the phone call I just got. The man who was in here earlier was yelling about how he was pissed that you didn’t offer to pay for his items. He then said he was going to sue the store because he fell. I have looked at the camera and you can clearly see the Caution: Wet Floor signs two feet in front of him, and you just dry-mopped the floor right before he came in!”

Me: *laughing, too* “He thought because he fell I needed to pay for his items? That’s not exactly how that works.”

Boss: “Yeah, but get this: you can clearly see him standing in the door waiting for you to walk away before coming in. He was also limping on the other foot before he fell! Looks like he just wanted someone to pay for a previous injury. Good thing you were on top of everything!”

(I had to write a statement about the events of that night. Luckily it never went anywhere so there was no court case. The store manager thanked me for my diligence about the floors that night!)

(My partner and I are at the store getting some last minute Christmas wrapping supplies.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything okay?”

Me: “Yup, thanks!”

Partner: “This should be the last of the Christmas stuff, finally.”

Me: “Yeah, we got all our presents sorted yesterday.” *turning to partner* “Oh, wait, you didn’t get something for [Partner’s Brother] yet. We could drop by [comic store] to look for something.”

Partner: *shrug* “I don’t really care that much.”

Cashier: *laughing* “I bet [Partner’s Brother] cares!”

Me: “Nah, actually he probably doesn’t. He isn’t super into gifts or super close to his siblings, so it’s not really considered a big deal.”

Partner: “Also, he’s the reason we don’t have heat in our house right now. He’s our landlord and he still hasn’t fixed our heat.”

Cashier: *shocked* “Really?! You have no heat?!”

Partner: “Nope. We have space heaters in our bedrooms, but it’s a big old drafty house, so they don’t do much.”

Me: *trying to be generous to [Partner’s Brother]* “The radiators need to be replaced and he just hasn’t gotten around to fixing them yet. He’s working on it, but—”

Cashier: *indignant* “If that happened at my apartment, oh boy… he wouldn’t be getting s*** from me!”

(My partner never did get around to getting him a Christmas present, and we still don’t have heat in the house. Neither of us are actually mad at him about it but we still think the cashier’s reaction was hilarious!)