Not A Uniform Response
I’m shopping at a big box retail store where employees wear red shirts and jeans or khaki pants. I can’t find an item on my list, so I approach a man who appears to be in his early or mid-twenties and is wearing a red shirt and khaki pants.
Me: “Excuse me, sir, are you an employee?”
Man: *With a smirk* “Nope. I’m not.”
Me: “Oh, my bad. I saw the red shirt and khakis and figured I would ask. Have a nice day.”
Man: *Still smirking* “Yeah, that’s what you get for assuming things like an idiot. You know what they say about assuming.”
Me: *Not able to help myself* “Yep. You and me both. You’re the one dressed exactly like a [Store] employee. Don’t be surprised if I’m not the only one who asks you for help.”
Man: “If customers like you had half a brain, I could do my shopping in peace. Just because someone wears the same style of clothes…”
Before things go any further, an actual employee rounds the corner into the aisle we’re in.
Employee: “[MAN]! GET OUT NOW OR WE’LL CALL THE POLICE AGAIN!”
The man, still smirking, scampers off, and the employee turns to me.
Employee: “Sir, I am so sorry about. That guy likes to impersonate employees and then make fun of people who fall for it. We’ve banned him from the store, but unfortunately, we never have enough employees to keep an eye on the door, so he keeps sneaking in.”
Me: “Wow. Wonder what’s up with his head if that’s his idea of fun.”
Employee: “Tell me about it. Anyway, is there anything you need help with?”
The actual employee was very helpful, and I never did see the impersonator again.