Yellow Asparagus Will Make You Quite Green

Me: “Okay, what kind of veggies would you like on your sandwich?”

Customer: “I’ll take lettuce, spinach, olives, and asparagus.”

Me: “Uh, we don’t have asparagus.”

(Her tone suddenly becomes very snide and she points at a bin of vegetables.)

Customer: “Well, what do you call that then?”

Me: “…banana peppers.”

Customer: “So that’s not yellow asparagus?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure if we sold yellow asparagus we’d be shut down. Asparagus is green.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “Well, I’m sure a lot of people make that mistake.”

Me: “Nope.”