I receive an email from a customer about an item she just purchased:
Email: “Your listing says that the item would be twenty inches wide, but it didn’t say how wide twenty inches was. It is way bigger than I expected!”
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(I’m purchasing a new pair of shoes. I have a $10 off coupon. As I’m handing the coupon to the cashier, I realize the brand of shoes I’m buying are on the coupon’s restriction list.)
Me: “Oh! My bad, I can’t use this on [Brand].”
Cashier: *amazed* Did… did you actually read the fine print?”
Me: “Well, yeah. It’s no big deal, though. I can use it next time.”
Cashier: “I can’t believe someone read the fine print! Just a hunch, but do you work retail?”
Me: “Not currently, but I used to. That’s how I paid for college.”
Cashier: “You know, I’ll go ahead and put this through for you.” *takes the coupon out of my hand and swipes it* “Because you understand!”
Customer: “Can I pay for this here?”
Employee: “No, you check out downstairs.”
Customer: *looks terrified* “Is… is this not a bookstore? Can I not buy this?”
Employee: “You can buy it… The registers are downstairs, though.”
(A bar guest is apparently upset that his double drink cost more than his friend’s single mixer.)
Guest: “Please educate me. Why does my drink cost $3 more than my friend’s.”
Me: “Well, sir, you ordered a double; your friend ordered a single mixer.”
Guest: “What does that mean?”
Me: “It means your drink had twice as much alcohol, which we charged accordingly for.”
Guest: “I still don’t get it”
Me: “His drink had 1 ¼ oz of vodka, while yours had 2 1/2 oz. Our prices are based on how much alcohol you ordered.”
Guest: “Well, I drank mine faster than he drank his.”
Me: “Your drinking skills have no bearing on how much alcohol was in the drink.”
Guest: “Well, I don’t think that’s right.”
Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way?”
Guest: “What can you do to make this right?”
Me: “Suggest you order a beer next time?”
(I didn’t receive the greatest tip from this guy, to say the least.)
(The phone rings while I’m working the front desk at a hotel.)
Me: “[Hotel], this is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Is this [Hotel]?”
Me: “Yes, it is.”
Caller: “And what is your name?”
Me: “My name is [My Name].”
Caller: “I would like to speak to a manager.”
Me: “Unfortunately there is no manager on site right now. Could I take a message for you?”
Caller: “I want to make a room block for a wedding, so I need a manager NOW.”
Me: “As I said, sir, there is no manager on site to speak with you. However, I can transfer you to our events coordinator who is in charge of handling weddings.”
Caller: “No! I NEED TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER ABOUT ROOMS FOR A WEDDING. Transfer me to a manager this instant!”
Me: “I understand, sir. I will transfer you right away.”
Caller: “You should know I’m reporting you for lying and wasting my time!”
(I transfer him to the empty manager’s desk in the back. He didn’t call back.)
