Oh, My Gourd, They’re Doing It Again
It’s spring break, which means a lot of college kids come into the store to either buy stuff to party, buy stuff to recover from a party, or play pranks to get reactions out of staff for their TikToks.
A group of college guys comes through my checkout with just a cucumber and some Vaseline, obviously hoping to get a reaction out of me. It would be cute if it weren’t so unoriginal.
Customer: “So… how’s your week going?”
Me: “The usual. Just working.”
Customer: “Well… maybe if you’re tired of working you could come to our place and ring these items through again.”
The customer winks while his friends start giggling, one of them badly concealing the fact that he’s recording on his phone.
Me: “Hmm, this item isn’t scanning properly. One moment.”
As a checkout manager, I have access to the store speakers, and even though we have tablets that allow us to price-check on the fly, I decide to have some fun with some old-school grocery store stereotypes.
Me: *On the store loudspeakers* “Price check on the ultra-tiny cucumbers? Price check on the inadequately proportioned cucumbers?”
The guys have stopped laughing now that they realize that not only am I not giving them the embarrassed reaction they wanted, but I am actively turning it around on them.
Me: *To the guys* “Yeah, sometimes a micro-cucumber will accidentally be shipped along with the regular big boys. I can’t honestly charge you full price for something so small and ineffective. To be fair, I don’t think you could even give this kind of thing away.”
The main guy tries to come up with something witty, but settles on:
Customer: “F*** you, b****!”
He storms out, with the other guys following looking a mixture of annoyed and embarrassed. My manager comes over a little later.
Manager: “That weird price check you called for earlier… spring breakers?”
Me: “Spring breakers.”
Manager: “Ah. Very good. Carry on.”
This story is part of our Editors’-Favorite-Stories-Of-2023-(so far!) roundup!
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Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?
