No Dollars, No Sense

, , , , | Right | March 5, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]; may I have your full name, please?”

Customer: “I’m not giving you my full name. I want to speak to a supervisor.”

Me: “I’m sure I can help you solve your problem, ma’am.. Just give me your full name so I can look up your information.”

Customer: “All right, FINE! My name is [Customer].”

Me: “Thank you, Ms. [Customer]. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I was at the store trying to buy baby formula, but I didn’t have any money left on my account. Why is that?”

Me: “Well, it appears you have made several purchases throughout the day, and you eventually ran out of money.”

Customer: *yelling* “I KNOW THAT! I BOUGHT STUFF EARLIER, BUT WHY DON’T I HAVE ANY MONEY LEFT?!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you could go ahead and return what you bought to get your money back and–”

Customer: *interrupting, baby crying in the background* “HOLD ON, SIR!”

Background Voice: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. How can I help you today?”

(The customer starts placing a food order while I wait on the line for her to get back to me, and the baby keeps crying.)

Customer: “Here, baby, don’t cry… Have some fries.”

Me: “Ms. [Customer], are you still there?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m here. Have you put my money back in my account yet?”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. You’ve already spent the money, so your best bet is to go and return some of the things you bought earlier.”

Customer: “I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA DO THAT FOR ME!”

Me: “I can’t do that; you have to do it personally.”

Customer: “CAN’T YOU JUST DO IT ON YOUR COMPUTER?!”

Me: “No, ma’am, it’s not physically possible for me to walk into a store with your stuff through my computer.”

Customer: *yelling louder* “WELL, IF YOU CAN’T USE ALL YOUR TECHNOLOGY TO DO A SIMPLE THING LIKE THAT, I’M GONNA HAVE TO SWITCH BANKS! THANKS FOR NOTHING!” *hangs up*

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