Me No Speak Americano, Part 6

, , , , | Right | August 25, 2020

We own a coffee shop with a small parking lot in an area where on-street parking is difficult, so we often get people parking in our lot with no intention of coming into our shop, even though the spots are marked, “For [Coffee Shop] customers only.”

One afternoon, a husband and wife with a teenage son park in our lot. The son grabs a few boxes out of the back of the car, so I am pretty sure they are not coming into the shop. As they walk past our door, I see the husband and wife stop and briefly talk, and the wife comes into the shop while the husband and son walk across the street.

She spends a few moments scanning our menu board. I know what she is doing: “paying” for parking by purchasing the cheapest item on our menu.

Customer: “I’ll take an… espresso? To go.”

A plain shot of espresso is the least expensive item on our menu, and it’s only two ounces, so people usually don’t take it to go. I put it in our smallest paper cup, which is eight ounces, put a lid on it, and hand it to her. The customer notices how light the cup feels and looks inside.

Customer: “What the heck is this?”

Me: “It’s a double shot of espresso, just like you ordered.”

Customer: “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Me: “Most people just drink it. I can give you a carbonated water chaser; some people like that. If you’d like, I can add hot water to make it an Americano, which would be similar to a cup of coffee.”

Customer: “This is stupid. Just add water to it!”

I never saw them again.

Me No Speak Americano, Part 5
Me No Speak Americano, Part 4
Me No Speak Americano, Part 3
Me No Speak Americano, Part 2
Me No Speak Americano

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