Just Stick With “Tetris” And Be Done With It

An older man comes into the store.

Customer: “I need to buy my ten-year-old grandson a video game. What do ten-year-olds like?”

Me: “Well, there are a lot of options! Do you know what games he’s enjoyed before?”

Customer: “To be honest, I haven’t a f****** clue about any of this stuff! But his mother wants me to get him a game, and it needs to be godly!”

Me: “Godly? As in…”

Customer: “Something appropriate! Nothing ungodly!”

Me: “Okay, well, we have lots of family-friendly games available.”

I figure out that he has a PlayStation (that is a story in its own right) and start going through some options.

Me: “Ratchet & Clank is a fun platformer that—”

Customer: “No, he’s holding a gun. That’s too violent.”

Me: “Well, Gran Turismo is a racing game that—”

Customer: “No! Luxury cars are a sign of greed! One of the deadly sins!”

Me: “Well, we have this soccer game that—”

Customer: “So he can start to copy the hedonistic lifestyles of those soccer players with all their drugs and prostitutes?! No, thank you!”

Me: “Sir… I don’t think I can help you. Maybe if you came here with your grandson you would have more luck.”

Customer: “You’re supposed to help me! F****** useless! Wait, what about this one?”

He picks up a copy of “God Of War”.

Me: “That’s a pretty violent game, sir, and I wouldn’t recommend it for a ten-year-old.”

Customer: “It’s got God in the title, ain’t it? I’ll take this one.”

I’m just happy to be at the end of this conversation.

Me: “Okay… but I’ll include a gift receipt just in case.” 

The cover of the game has a man wielding a giant axe, but hey, at least it wasn’t a cartoony ray gun!