Eating For Two, Feeding For None

(I work with a woman who is a bit odd. One day, the entire department receives an e-mail from her:)

Email #1: “[Husband] and I have decided that it’s time to throw a party! Everyone is invited for [date]. As you might know, my brother is a gourmet chef, and he’s promised to cook a feast like you’ve never had before, so make sure you show up hungry!”

(I don’t like showing up at a party empty-handed, so I go to see her to ask if I can bring anything. Most of the other invitees do the same.)

Coworker: “No need; like I said, my brother will provide everything.”

(I notice that she looks slightly shifty when she says this, but I don’t think anything of it. Shortly after that, the entire department — except for the secretary — gets a second email from her.)

Email #2: “Psst… That first email was a ruse! This party is actually a bridal shower for [Secretary]. All the ladies are invited. See you then!”

(I have a very light lunch on the day of the shower and skip off to [Coworker]’s house, happily anticipating some gourmet goodies. There aren’t any. In fact, there is no food at all. It seems that the “my brother is going to cook a feast” bit was part of the ruse. [Coworker] doesn’t seem to realize that all of her guests, including the guest of honour, are hungry and grumpy. We all make excuses to leave early. I raid the fridge when I get home, much to my husband’s surprise.)

Husband: “What happened to your feast?”

Me: “Good question.”

(The following day, [Coworker] talked about how successful the party had been. She never noticed that all of us ladies were conspicuously silent.)