Do NOT Mess With Old Ladies

Our coffee shop has a group of old ladies from the same retirement home who gather twice a week to chat and do some crafts like knitting. It’s cliché, but it’s true! Today, as I bring them all their mugs, I see the group making what I would describe as rustic stick figures.

Me: “Oh, not knitting anything this week?”

Old Lady: “No, we’re all making these today.”

Me: “What are you making?”

Old Lady: “Voodoo dolls.”

Me: “Uh…”

Old Lady: “One of the Black ladies in the home died a few months back. One of the racist old c***s in the care home said, ‘At least the n-word won’t be doing voodoo anymore.’”

Me: “That’s awful!”

Old Lady: “So, we’ve been making these Blair Witch stick figures and leaving them where that troll will find them. She’s found seven so far.” *To the group* “Now, don’t dawdle, ladies. We need at least another ten of these before the bus picks us up!”

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