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Time To Engage With Reality

| Romantic | August 25, 2013

(We have just gotten home from work, and are chatting about our day.)

Girlfriend: “You know that girl I work with, [name]?”

Me: “The one who keeps getting engaged to people she barely knows?”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, she was going on about this wedding she is planning. She was really rubbing it in that we’re not engaged.”

Me: “She’s what, 19? And this is the second time round for her, with both guys she knew less than a year?”

Girlfriend: “Yep. Well anyway, she’s just been dumped by text.”

Me: “If she wasn’t such a b****, that wouldn’t be so funny.”

Unhealthy Parenting

| Related | August 25, 2013

(I have been sick for almost two weeks straight, and haven’t showered in a few days, so I look pretty awful.)

Mom: “I love you and you know I think you are beautiful, but man, some days you just look nasty.”

Me: “Ah… thanks?”

An Animated Method Of Teaching

, , | Related | August 25, 2013

(The falconry centre I work at also keep a few small mammals for kids birthday parties, including three ferrets.)

Customer: “Oh look, ferrets!”

Customer’s Son: “Mummy, what are ferrets?”

Customer: “You know in Ice Age, the stupid things that hang upside down from trees? Those are ferrets.”

How To Foil A Bad Manager

| Working | August 25, 2013

(We are at a low-price pizza place. Two of my friends are drinking milkshakes, when one of them starts to spit out tin foil. The other friend also finds some and calls the waitress over.)

Waitress: “What can I do for you?”

Friend: “Yeah, my friend and I here found tin foil in our drinks.”

Waitress: “What?”

Friend: “Look, this is the little pile of tin foil she’s made from inside her drink.”

Waitress: “Hold on, I’ll go get the manager.”

(The manager comes over.)

Manager: “So, what’s wrong?”

Friend: “Yeah, we’ve got tin foil in our drinks. Look.”

Manager: “Oh. Yes. Well, don’t worry; that’s just from the lids.”

Friend: “Wait, what?”

Manager: “Yeah, well, the milkshakes have tin foil lids and I guess they fell in.”

(We wait expectantly.)

Friend: “Okay, but it’s not meant to be in there, is it?”

Manager: “It won’t harm you!”

Me: “That’s quite a pile that my friend has made.”

Manager: “It’s just a bit of tin foil!” *sighs* “Well, what do you want me to do about it?”

Friend: “Could we have some new drinks? Without tin foil?”

Manager: “If you must…”

(He grudgingly brings them new drinks. Later, we get the bill.)

Me: “Wouldn’t it be funny if they tried to charge you for the milkshakes and your new drinks?”

Friend: “…they have.”

Me: “You’re kidding.”

Friend: “No, take a look. This is absurd! I’m not paying this.”

(We call the manager over.)

Friend: “You’ve charged us for milkshakes and the two new drinks.”

Manager: “Yeah, well, you ordered them.”

Friend: “No, we asked for replacements because you served us drinks with tin foil in them. You can’t seriously expect us to pay for both.”

Manager: “Alright, alright, fine! Give me the receipt!”

(He takes it away and brings back a new version, making it clear that he wants us to leave. My friend keeps the receipt, as it appears that this restaurant actually has a button specifically for tin foil in drink reductions. We never go back.)

6 Funny Vet Stories Where The Customer Is Not Always Right

, | Right | August 25, 2013

Weekly Roundup: At The Vet! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories that occur at the veterinarian!

  1. So Dumb It Hurts (6,719 thumbs up)
  2. The Dog Isn’t The One That Needs To Get Neutered (3,717 thumbs up)
  3. Going Bananas (6,864 thumbs up)
  4. Ah, The Wonders Of Osmosis (2,326 thumbs up)
  5. And Here’s To You, Fido Robinson (3,564 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!