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Youth Is Wasted On The Young

| WI, USA | Learning | September 27, 2013

(I work as a TA at a very large university. I have just finished my bachelor’s, and am starting my master’s, which means I am not that much older than my students. The undergraduate students I have are well-behaved… mostly.)

Undergraduate Student: “Hey [Name]! I have a question!”

Me: “Yes?”

Undergraduate Student: “How old are you?”

Me: “Um, I’m 22.”

Undergraduate Student: “Oh… so you’re old.”

(I am flabbergasted. I wonder if he realizes that I grade his exams!)

Coming Out And Going Out

| Hobart, Tasmania, Australia | Learning | September 27, 2013

(I’m a teenage girl, and have recently gotten a very short haircut. I go to an all-girls school, but have to pass boys who are often rude and loud on my way home. One of them sees my haircut and starts shouting out homophobic slurs.)

Boy #1: “Lesbo! D***!”

(I turn around and give him the finger. Surprisingly, so does [Boy #2].)

Boy #2: “Dude, shut up! I’m gay, y’know!”

Boy #1: “What? You’re a f** too?!”

Boy #3: “Oh, piss off [Boy #1]. So, [Boy #2], you’re free tomorrow evening, right? Wanna catch a movie?”

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Nothing To Do

| Learning | September 27, 2013

funny-summer-school-student

Piercing Judgments

| Right | September 26, 2013

The Maine Difference Between The Accents

| West Gardiner, ME, USA | Right | September 26, 2013

(I work in a travel plaza in a town in central Maine, fairly close to the Canada/USA border. The plaza is the only sort of gas station, restaurant, and other amenity on the highway for miles, so we get the gamut of travelers, most of whom are weary from long hours of driving. We are encouraged to be as helpful as possible, and to make conversation while ringing up customers.)

Me: “Did you find everything alright?”

Customer: “Well, I did in here, but…”

Me: “But?”

Customer: “You from around here?”

Me: “Actually, I grew up in the next town over.”

Customer: “Excellent. What is there to do in this area?”

(I offer a few suggestions of popular tourist attractions, and unique local restaurants. The customer gives me an odd look and is silent while I tell him his total. While I’m counting his change, he suddenly explodes. He knocks half his purchases off the counter to get in my face and starts shouting.)

Customer: “DON’T YOU LIE TO ME!”

Me: “I’m sorry; excuse me?!”

Customer: “You stupid b****! There’s no WAY you’re from here! How do I know everything you just told me isn’t all fake? I want to talk to someone who is actually from this area!”

Me: “With all due respect, sir, what makes you say that?”

Customer: “You don’t have the accent!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “See! I told you you were lying! If you really grew up here, you’d have that authentic Maine accent! ‘Pahk the arnge cah in the yahd’.”

Me: *drawling into a thick ‘Maine’ accent* “Ayuh well there sir what you got yourself there is a Boston accent; you ain’t soundin’ like no Mainer, deyah.”

Customer: “What the f*** did you just say?!”

Me: *in normal voice* “I said, I worked very hard growing up to learn to enunciate properly, but I can assure you I’m far more authentically Maine than these lobster souvenirs you just spent $10 on and then broke. I’m glad to know my hard work paid off. Have a safe trip now, ‘deyah.'”

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