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They Have An App For That

| OK, USA | Related | November 5, 2013

(Our son is 13, and has been complaining that he doesn’t have a cell phone while other people in his class have one.)

Son: “We started the new nine-week block at school, and there’s an extra class that I signed up for. It’s called the application class. Everyone I know has been signing up for it, so I did too. I thought it was a chance to play with computer applications, and to learn how to use them and such, but they require that you have a cell phone, and I don’t have one. I can’t pass without one.”

Me: “Well, you don’t have a cell phone; that’s for certain. Sounds like you’re going to have to change your extra class because you’re not going to get one.”

(He gets frustrated and starts throwing the classic routine.)

Son: “It’s just not fair. Other kids have them and I don’t. Now I’ve finally got into the best class ever, and I can’t take it because I don’t have a cell phone. You guys only want me to fail.”

Wife: “What other courses are there to have during this time?”

Son: “The only thing left is free-reading period, and that’s lame.”

Me: “Well, it seems that you don’t have much choice, huh? You aren’t getting a cell phone.”

Son: “It’s not fair!”

Wife: “Tell me, who teaches this course?”

Son: “I don’t know her name.”

Wife: “Let your father and I talk about this.”

(The next day, my wife calls me at work.)

Wife: “Well, you’ll like this. I called the school and found the details on the application class.”

Me: “He’s not getting a cell phone.”

Wife: “Yes, we agree on that. But the class isn’t about computer applications. It’s called, ‘life applications.’ It’s where they learn tools on how to deal with things in life, like setting priorities and scheduling your time.”

(I start laughing loudly.)

Wife: “I thought you’d like that.”

Me: “He tried to sucker us.”

Wife: “So now we need to come up with something for tonight to help with his app class. Tonight we’re going to have some application of fun for ourselves…”

Face Book And Study

| Related | November 5, 2013


Remaining Cool Under Pressure

| OR, USA | Romantic | November 5, 2013

(My boyfriend has just picked me up from school and is driving me home.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, I think there’s something wrong with the tire.”

(He goes out to check, and then asks me to get the pressure gauge out from under the passenger’s seat where I’m sitting. I do, and notice that there is a red rose and chocolates under the seat. I shove that aside and keep looking for the pressure gauge.)

Me: “I can’t feel it. I don’t think it’s there.”

Boyfriend: “Can you just pull what’s under the seat out of there?”

Me: “Yeah, but there’s just a rose and choc—”

(At that moment I look up and my boyfriend is smiling at me from across the car, and I realize that those are for me. I start to blush.)

Me: “You are such a dork. You’re going to hate me, but I didn’t even pay attention to these.”

Boyfriend: “Really?”

Me: “I was looking for the pressure gauge!”

Drowning In Love

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Romantic | November 5, 2013

(My husband and I are cuddling on the couch.)

Husband: “Do you love me?”

Me: “Honey, look at me. Look at my face.”

Husband: “It IS full of love!”

Me: “I am filled to the brim with love! Love spews from my pores!”

Husband: “Oh, gross.”

Me: “Every night as we lay together in bed, I leak love all over you!”

Husband: “Okay, you’ve managed to gross me out.”


Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 3

| UK | Romantic | November 5, 2013

(I decide it’s time to ask my fiancé the important question.)

Me: “So… if I were a zombie, what would you do?”

Fiancé: “I don’t know. Probably like a Shaun of the Dead situation.”

Me: “…you’d keep me locked in the shed?!”

Fiancé: “Maybe not a shed… somewhere warm, I guess, but with video games.”

Me: “Seriously?”

Fiancé: “…and waffles?”

Me: “Well, it’s a slight improvement.”


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