Carding Everyone Will Always Annoy Someone

Our store has a very strict “no ID, no sale” policy for alcohol. Rip Van Winkle himself could come in for beer and we’d still have to card him. I’m sent to relieve one of my fellow cashiers for her break on an especially hectic day and find her almost done checking out an old woman, while one of the managers hovers nearby waiting until she’s finished to do something on the register.

Coworker: “Can I see your ID?”

Customer: “Here.”

My coworker takes the ID to scan on the register, as we’re trained to do. It throws up an error: “ID EXPIRED.”

Coworker: “It looks like your ID’s expired.”

Customer: “What? You can’t get my birthdate off of that? I’m seventy-one!”

Me: “We can only take valid IDs. The only time we can get around an expired ID is if you have the renewal paperwork with you.”

I don’t tell her that this is left to the cashier’s discretion, and we look at those papers VERY carefully before approving the sale. Most people have no problem with this. This woman is not most people. Instead, she starts pulling out MORE ID cards, most of which I unfortunately don’t get a good look at. The bagger is rooting around in the bags, trying to find where she put the alcohol.

Customer: “Here! Here’s my concealed carry permit! Can you take that?“

Me: “We can only take valid, federally-issued IDs. That isn’t federally-issued.”

Customer: “I want to talk to your manager.”

My coworker and I both point wordlessly at our manager, who has been standing silently the whole time, probably still trying to process the absolute mess that his store is at the moment.

Customer: *To our manager* “All right, then, you scan your ID for me so I can get my alcohol.”

Me: “That would be identity theft.”

If this woman weren’t in one of the store scooters, I’m pretty sure she would stomp her foot like a toddler.

Customer: “I’m never coming here again! I’m going to do my shopping at [Competitor]!”

Me: *Lying through my teeth* “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Coworker: “It’s probably cheaper there.”

After she spewed a bit more vitriol, we FINALLY managed to confiscate her alcohol, get her to pay for her groceries, and send her on her not-so-merry way.

If she really needed alcohol that badly, I hope she got to an addiction recovery clinic, but I wouldn’t feel bad if she had to get through a patch of thorns first.