A Truly Unmatched Level Of Audacity, Part 2

One night, I’m finishing up my shift as an EMT, and it’s been a long and tiring one. The calls weren’t bad, but there were a lot of them and we were all over the d*** county. My shift is over, I change back into my comfy clothes (sweats, a T-shirt, and a hoodie), and I head to the store to get something for dinner.

I get there just in time since they’re closing in ten minutes. I assure the cashier that I am just grabbing something quick, and I go and pick up a lasagna from the frozen section. I grab it and turn to head to the checkout when I hear, “A-Hem!” It’s not a throat clearing sound, but someone saying it like they are reading it out loud.

I turn and look to see a woman, and she snaps off:

Woman: “I need you to go in the back and get me a pack of the frozen pretzels.”

Me: “I don’t work here, ma’am. But I just saw an employee go behind that endcap over there.” *Points*

Woman: “You do work here, and you need to stop being lazy and get me my pretzels!”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

I turn to walk to the self-check. She flips her s*** and storms off, muttering about lazy employees and managers.

I finish checking out, and I’m grabbing my stuff and leaving when I see the woman again. She’s with a manager.

Woman: *Yelling* “There she is! That’s the lazy b****!”

She starts toward me. I’m not even going to engage, so I hold up my receipt and my one item to the self-check girl and walk out.

I hear the manager raising his voice and saying, “Ma’am? Ma’am, MA’AM!”

It turns out that the woman has left her cart behind and stormed out of the store to confront me. I get in my car to drive off, but the woman comes and stands in front of it so I can’t go anywhere. She’s also giving me a tongue lashing that I’m too checked out to really pay attention to.

Great. I’m already on my last nerve and this woman is hate-f****** it.

The manager sticks his head out of the door and hollers, “Ma’am!” She turns and makes a hushing motion toward him. He hollers, “Ma’am!” one more time, and she hollers back.

Woman: “I’m dealing with your employee since you’re too much of a little b**** to do it yourself!” 

Manager: *Bristling* “Madam!”

She cuts him off, screeching at the top of her lungs.

Woman: “SHUT THE F*** UP!”

He shrugs, and I watch him go back inside, fiddle with the locks, flip the sign to closed, and pull down the shades. As I’m watching this, the woman gets annoyed that I’m not paying her my full attention.

Woman: “What the h*** are you looking that’s so d***ed important to ignore me?”

Me: *Pointing at the shop* “They just closed and locked the doors.”

I’m not sure what she screamed since it was pretty incoherent, but she did run toward the door. Seeing my chance, I drove off, leaving her pounding on the door and cursing.

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A Truly Unmatched Level Of Audacity