A Good Defence Against Their Taking Offence

I work in a small novelty store that sells small gifts and cards for special occasions. One of those items is a card game called “Cards Against Humanity”. For those who don’t know it, it’s designed to be offensive, with cursing and references to sex, drugs, and situations that are intended to be shocking.

My friends and I personally find the game hilarious, but I know it’s not for everyone, so there are labels on the packaging as well as a sticker supplied by us saying the game is rated 18+ and not family-friendly.

A woman comes into the store with a copy of the game.

Customer: “I bought this from you last week, and it was disgusting! How could you even think of selling such filth?!”

Me: “I’m sorry you weren’t happy with the product, ma’am, but since you have the item here, we should be able to do a refund for you—”

Customer: *Interrupting* “No! I need more than a refund! I want to sue you all! You’ve emotionally scarred my children!”

Me: “Ma’am, the game has labels all over it saying it is not a game for children. It is literally designed to be as shockingly offensive as possible.”

Customer: “It’s a card game! Card games are for kids!”

Me: “No, ma’am, not all of them are, and especially this one. I can process a refund if you like, but if you want to threaten legal action then all I can do is give you a number for our corporate office and then ask you to leave.”

Customer: “But it’s so offensive! How can you sell it? You labeled it as ‘funny’!”

Me: “It’s one of our most popular products, and I realize humor is subjective, ma’am, but like I said, the best I can do is a refund.”

The woman finally accepts that she’s not going to get much better than a refund. But the best part is yet to come. As I am processing the refund, a group of three old ladies approaches the counter. They have been listening in.

Old Lady #1: “Oh, it’s that Cards Against Humanity game that your son played!”

Old Lady #2: “Oh, yes! We loved playing that game, didn’t we?”

Old Lady #1: *To me* “Will you be selling that return at a discount? I’d love to have a copy for myself! My friends and I had so much fun playing it!”

Old Lady #2: “Oh, we know! We learned so much! Like, I didn’t know what a safe word was!”

Old Lady #1: “Or that [Old Lady #3] already had one!”

They all look at the other lady, and my gaze naturally follows them.

Old Lady #3: *Beaming* “Mine is ‘pineapple’!”

The complaining customer shot glares at all of them and grabbed her credit card as quickly as possible as soon as I told her the refund had been processed. The three old ladies stayed a bit longer, giggling the whole time amongst themselves.