23 Hilarious Stories About Customers Not Quite Getting July 4th!

| Right | July 4, 2020

Dear readers,

It’s that oh-so-American time of the year again where our US-based readers celebrate a holiday you can’t forget the date of, and the rest of our readers get to be confused for the day. Our editorial staff may be international, but we’re always happy to dust off these 23 stories from our archives to show how the Fourth of July can be confusing even to those who are supposed to celebrate it!

Happy Order-Dependence Day – You’d think the name of the holiday would indicate when it happens but some people need some extra help…

Drowning In Bad Customers – Not only are stores expected to be open for the holiday but they are also expected to sell everything.

The Fourth Is Not Strong With This One – After the aliens invaded and the USA saved everyone with an apple-mac this kind of ignorance is unacceptable.

Don’t Sell Yourself Short On Independence Day – The capitalist country where some people don’t understand how capitalism works.

Fire Doesn’t Work – Imagine being that oblivious – to both the fireworks AND the staff waiting for you to leave after closing time!

Trying To Encourage Independent Thought – Because apparently the USA is the only one to have gained independence… from anyone.

Those Silly Colonies And Their Quaint Rebellion – Some people start celebrating Christmas earlier and earlier…

The War Of 1812 Revisited – When an American nationalist comes up against Canada Day…

No Extra For Extra – Everyone wants something for nothing… kinda why the US wanted independence from Britain in the first place.

Independent From The Closing Times – How dare retail workers make July 4th plans!

She Is Not A National Treasure – The movie National Treasure is a national treasure and we will fight anyone that says otherwise…

They Should Have Czeched Before They Traveled – We’re running out of ways to joke about other countries not celebrating American Independence Day…

Independent From This Holiday – Some people love the holiday but seem to have forgotten some specific details in the history.

She Saw Seashells And Social Strata – The Little Mermaid came from a tough hood.

Not The Brightest Spark In The Firework Display – Any chance you could move Fourth Of July to another day of the week?

You Must Stay Past Four-th Of July – You haven’t survived a holiday as an American retail worker unless you’ve met this level of entitlement…

Independent Thought – An American… not in the USA… on the holiday… yeah you get it now.

Leap Days Of Logic – When presented with someone who is not celebrating the holiday, time-travel is the only reasonable explanation.

Viva La Revelation – Retail workers are perfectly fine working the holiday, but do customers have to keep reminding them?

Were You Born On The Third Of July? – They’re so not ready to hear about Cinco De Mayo…

Winter Is Coming… – Maybe she’s going to Barrow, AK?

Scorn On The Fourth Of July – You want the news on July 4th? There was a parade, someone had a BBQ, and some fireworks went off. There – you’re caught up.

Independent From Your Day – For the final time… Canada… has… different… holidays!

 

We hope you enjoyed this collection of stories and you have a great day whatever country you’re in! Know any that we missed? Let us know in the comments! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!


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