You’re Testes My Patience

I see a young teen girl having some trouble in our feminine hygiene section. I decide she’s been there long enough that it won’t be an intrusion if I offer her some help.

Teen Girl: “Please! I don’t really have anyone to ask about this kind of stuff.”

The girl looks to be in physical discomfort.

Me: “Cramps? Pain?”

Teen Girl: “Just the normal period pain. Takes a while to get used to it.”

I’m about to offer my sympathies and advice when a male customer one aisle over (our aisles are short and we can see over them) decides this is the perfect time to insert himself into our conversation.

Male Customer: “Yeah, period pains sound bad and all, but that’s nothing compared to the pain of being kicked in the balls. Now that’s real pain a woman could never understand.”

Me: “We’d never understand it because period pain isn’t optional, whereas you getting kicked in the balls is probably because you were being an a**.”

Male Customer: “I was just trying to reassure you ladies that you could have it worse.”

Teen Girl: *Menacingly* “Now I know why you get kicked in the balls so much.”

Male Customer: *Backing off* “Just trying to help, jeez!”

He leaves, and I turn back to my customer.

Me: “Sorry about that.”

Teen Girl: “Oh, that’s fine. I’m just surprised that a conversation could be more painful than whatever is going on down there…”