You Get Two Explanations For The Price Of One

(My friend and I have gone to a restaurant, which we chose specifically to try their cocktails. The waitress comes to take our order, we place orders for food and a different cocktail each, and all goes well until this:)

Waitress: “So, that’s two of that cocktail for you…” *to me* “…and two of the other cocktail for you?” *to friend*

Me: “No, we only want one cocktail each.”

Waitress: “No, it’s two cocktails for you, and two cocktails for you.”

Me: “No, one cocktail each, please.”

Waitress: “It’s two for one on cocktails. That means you get two cocktails each.”

Friend: *gives up* “I’ll have a diet coke, please.”

Waitress: “A diet coke? Okay, so one diet coke and two cocktails?”

Me: “I only want one cocktail.”

Waitress: “It’s two for one on cocktails! So, you get two cocktails of the same type for the price of one. But it only applies to cocktails of the same type. You can’t get two different cocktails for the price of one.”

Me: “Yes, we understand. So one diet coke and one cocktail, please.”

Waitress: “But it’s two for one!”

Me: “Yes, but I’d only like one. So, please, can I pay full price for one and only receive one?”

(The waitress finally leaves to place our order and it seems to be sorted… until thirty seconds later she comes back again.)

Waitress: “I checked, and it’s two for one. You get two cocktails!”

Me: “But I only want one cocktail. I want to pay that price—” *points at price on menu: £8.95* “—and get one cocktail. I don’t want a second cocktail.”

Waitress: “But it’s the same price!” *bends over to show me the screen she’s taking orders on* “See, if I click two for one, it’s £8.95, and if I click the button for individual cocktails, it’s still £8.95.” *all while adding this to our order screen*

Me: “Yes. Thank you. I understand. But I don’t want to drink two cocktails. I want to pay that price, and I only want one cocktail. Please don’t bring two cocktails. I only want one.”

(The waitress left again. Another waitress brought out the drinks — just one cocktail — and I also asked for table water, which we never received. Thankfully, everything else went well, and the bill only included one cocktail at £8.95. I was worried we’d get charged for three or four when she kept adding them on the screen. We paid without quibbling, and tipped, then left. I should have just let her bring out two and left the other untouched, but I hate waste. Seriously, though, it shouldn’t be this hard to get less for the same price from someone!)