You Can Only Push A Good Worker So Far

I work in a restaurant. I opened this location as the assistant manager, took a long maternity leave, and then returned as a shift lead. The general manager is the same one I was assistant to.

In August, the morning cook quit. It’s now December, and we still haven’t replaced him. I’ve been doing twice the work since then.

The start of my shift is stressful because I set up the entire cook line alone. In ninety minutes, I do all this: turn on all equipment, turn on six of the eight fryers, clean the filter machine, filter the other two fryers and turn them on, top off the fryers with fresh oil, stock up two stations with about 150 pounds of meat each, set up ice baths and batter for both stations, make and hot-hold our buffalo sauce, temp all the fryers, start two new time control logs, set up sani-water and hot soapy water, and have all the fried chicken ready before we open.

Yesterday morning, I was five minutes late due to snow. There were multiple containers of chicken that were half-full or less, so I had to spend time consolidating them. There was also not a drop of batter in the house, so I had to make a whole batch, which takes at least five minutes. Finally, all of our livers were spoiled, so I had to take those out to the dumpster and take them off the Point Of Sale system. Basically, I spent about fifteen minutes not setting up the line.

As I was scrambling to finish the batter I made, the kitchen aide approached me.

Kitchen Aide: “You need to do your dishes.”

I had dropped off a couple of chicken containers, the pan that had the spoiled livers, a bowl, and two whisks. She was training one of the line cooks in kitchen aide duties, so there was an extra person. This means she had less to do and was doing dishes immediately when they came to the dish pit. As I was rushing to open the line alone, I saw her just standing around watching the trainee.

I clarified three times that she was talking about me. I was so taken aback for multiple reasons. One, she saw me hustling to do all this s***, and I was running behind. Two, I always contribute to the dishes; I even stay late sometimes to do ALL the dishes, clean the dish pit, and put in fresh water before the evening kitchen aides come. Three, I am a shift lead and she is supposedly my subordinate.

Me: “I’m too busy right now.”

Kitchen Aide: “No, it doesn’t matter.”

Me: “I’ll do them later, then.”

I walked away to continue setting up the line. It was twenty-five minutes before opening at that point, and I was only halfway set up.

When I came back to get the second batter container, [Kitchen Aide] stopped me again.

Kitchen Aide: “Dishes are all our responsibility, and we have to collaborate as a team.”

Me: “Okay, then leave them aside and I’ll do them later.”

Kitchen Aide: “No.”

Her answer to that compromise was f****** no. I have no problem doing the dishes. I actually genuinely enjoy it. It’s soothing to take something dirty and make it clean. The water is warm and the soap smells nice. I just can’t wash dishes and also set up the entire cook line while on a time crunch.

The general manager arrived a couple of minutes after the altercation. He immediately discredited my thoughts and feelings on this. He kept repeating that it wasn’t a big deal and that [Kitchen Aide] didn’t realize I was so busy.

Me: “That’s not the point. Her saying no and lecturing me about how to do my job is called insubordination.”

[General Manager] actually rolled his eyes.

General Manager: “It’s not that serious. Calm down.”

[Kitchen Aide] did not apologize to me. She was passive-aggressive for the rest of the shift. She put me in danger by not calling out basic kitchen safety things like “behind you with hot” or “oven opening behind you.” She opened the oven door and it actually grazed my leg, and she didn’t say anything.

[Kitchen Aide] then argued with [General Manager] about cutting the potatoes. He said she was cutting them too small. There was a back and forth, and then later I checked and the potatoes were cut the way [Kitchen Aide] likes them. She runs this store now, apparently.

I had to work the rest of the shift feeling like s***. [General Manager] even told me I should apologize to [Kitchen Aide] so things aren’t awkward. I retorted that she should be written up for insubordination. [General Manager] rolled his eyes again.

At the end of my shift, I put in my resignation.

Me: *To [General Manager]* “You expect me to do all the manager duties, but I don’t get the same respect. You discredited everything I said and solidly defended [Kitchen Aide]. I don’t have a job lined up, but I just can’t take the disrespect.”

I’m so sad. I loved that job. I could see myself there for another ten or twenty years. But the way [General Manager] handled that situation was the glass-shattering moment. I am not valued. I am not respected. I work so hard, and I have a supportive management style. I’m always helping wherever the work is needed. Being lectured on dishes is just straight-up offensive to me, and [General Manager] did nothing to support me.

I talked to the office manager of a dental office I used to work for, and I start Monday.