(I am telling on myself with this story. I am tidying up a display while a coworker was ringing customers through her register.)
Coworker: “[My Name] can you jump on, please?”
Me: *as I walk to my register to start ringing people through* “I can jump someone here…” *pause* “… er… I can help someone!”
(I am a merchant teller at a local bank, so I generally see the same people every day making large deposits for their businesses. For a while now I have been crushing on an employee from the business across the street, and he usually comes in wearing his uniform and makes the deposit before the store opens. Today he happens to be wearing normal clothes to make the deposit.)
Me: “Well, good morning, [Crush]! It’s good to see you in clothes for once!”
Coworker: “Oh, my God!” *falls off her stool laughing*
(I get a call on the first of April, one day after a job interview.)
Caller: “HEY! HEY! Guess what!”
Me: “Who is this?”
Caller: “It’s [Name] from [Company] from yesterday! You’re hired! All the other applicants were total f****** idiots! That’s why we want you!”
Me: “Uhm, thanks? That’s—”
Caller: “You know what I did? Do you want to hear it?”
Me: “What did you do?”
Caller: “I called all the other applicants and told them they’re hired! And when they got all excited I screamed ‘April Fools!’ Haha, I would have loved to see their faces. The first guy told me he’d sue me! Isn’t that funny?”
Me: “So… is this a joke? Or am I hired?”
Caller: “You’re actually hired. As I said, all the others were total f****** idiots! Welcome to [Company]!”
(I’m not sure if I’m going to take this job…)
This story is part of the April Fool’s Day roundup!
Read the next April Fool’s Day roundup story!
Read the April Fool’s Day roundup!
This story is part of the Pranks roundup!
Read the next Pranks roundup story!
Read the Pranks roundup!
(I’m the customer in this story, and I’m in my 30s. The cashier is a boy in his late teens. I’m buying some produce and he is entering the product codes and making small talk.)
Cashier: “Okay, so that’s a cucumber… Oh, no, a zucchini, I guess. It’s pretty runty.”
Me: “Yeah, it is pretty early in the season. When we grow them in our garden they get to be up to five pounds.”
Cashier: “Good thing you’re not making zucchini bread! You’d need, like, ten of these!” *laughs*
(The cashier then turns to me, leans in and gets serious.)
Cashier: “So, this is, like, for a bachelorette party, right?”
(I don’t know how I got out of the store without laughing.)
(I work in a warehouse that delivers produce to stores across the state. The environment is pretty fast-paced so dropping things happens regularly. My first week there, I drop a box of strawberries and they scatter across the floor. A coworker comes over to help me pick them up.)
Coworker: *putting dirty strawberries back into their boxes, whispers* “This is why you always wash your fruits and vegetables.”
