What’s His Beef

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Working | July 3, 2012

(My family has taken a trip to Pittsburgh to see the museums with my nieces. Afterwards, we stop at a restaurant we’ve never been to to eat. I don’t eat beef but eat other meats.)

Mom: *to the waiter* “I would like to try your chicken fried steak, please.”

Waiter: “Alright. And what about you?”

Me: “I’d like the quesadilla, but with chicken instead of beef if that’s possible.”

Waiter: “No beef?”

Me: “I’d like to exchange the beef with chicken.”

(He is noticeably shocked.)

Waiter: “But…vegetarians don’t eat any meat.”

Me: “But…I’m not a vegetarian. I just don’t like beef.”

Waiter: “How can you not like beef?! This is America!”

(The waiter was so distressed and upset by me not liking beef that he gave our table to another waitress. It was awkward!)

Not The Breast Compliment

| Westland, MI, USA | Working | July 3, 2012

(I am a female and am new to the area. Normally, when I come into this store, I’m dressed normally with hair and make-up done. After the worst day ever, I stop in my pajamas and look like a hot mess. Note: I have distinct tattoos across my chest.)

Me: “Newport 100s, please.”

Cashier: “ID, please.”

Me: *hands him ID*

Cashier: “Oh, yeah! I recognize you by your chest.”

Me: *speechless*

Cashier: “Oh! Sorry! I mean your tattoos!”

(Needless to say, it made my day!)

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Senseless & Centsless

| Arlington, VA, USA | Working | July 3, 2012

(My manager is berating me because in the past week. There is always money missing from the drawer at take-out where I work.)

Manager: “Every night, we’re short a different amount. It’s always over ten dollars!”

Me: “That’s pretty bad. But, like I said, five or six different people work this register, so it’s impossible to say if one—”

Manager: “One is either stealing, or is terrible at math!”

Me: “Well, again, I’ll ask around, but—”

(At that moment, a coworker whose shift is over comes up to make an order for take-out.)

Me: *to manager* “Can you give them the discount on their food, please?”

Manager: “Oh, just give it to them for free.”

Me: “Okay, cool. Can you comp their food on the computer, then?”

Manager: “Here, just do this…”

(He enters on the computer that they have paid with a twenty-dollar bill. The drawer opens, and he closes it again.)

Manager: “That’s the easiest way to do an employee discount.”

Me: “But now the computer thinks you’ve taken payment, and you haven’t…” *lightbulb goes off* “Wait, you do this all the time?”

Manager: “Every day. It’s okay if it’s just cash.”

Me: “Uh, I think I know why our drawer is short.”

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Occupation: Impossible

| Canada | Working | July 2, 2012

(I’m the only employee working in the store in the middle of winter. I’m supposed to be counting the cash, but a long line of customers means it’s an hour late and I haven’t even started. There’s also slush tracked in from customers all over the floor but I can’t even get out from behind the counter long enough to mop it up, the cigarettes and lottery tickets are running low, and the beer cooler is practically empty. Two of my bosses drop by to see how things are doing.)

Boss #1: “Why is the floor such a mess?! You’re such a slacker! If you keep slacking off like this, we’re going to have to let you go!”

Me: “It’s been super busy and I haven’t had time to leave the cash.”

Boss #2: “Why isn’t the cash counted yet?”

Me: “I’ve had non-stop customers for the last two hours.”

Boss #1: *mopping the floor* “I can’t believe you let it get this bad!”

Boss #2: “Why didn’t you call us and tell us there were no scratch tickets or cigarettes?”

Me: “I did, three hours ago. You said you’d be by in a few minutes.”

Boss #1: “You’re such a slacker!”

(At this point, a customer who has been in line throughout this whole exchange speaks up.)

Customer: “What do you expect her to do? Leave the customers here and go clean and stock stuff?”

Boss #1: “She should be doing both!”

Customer: “And how exactly can she do both?”

(Boss #1 ignores him and while Boss #2 comes out from the beer cooler.)

Boss #2: “Beer coolers are almost empty. You have to stock that right away. I also took some cigarettes and scratch tickets out of the safe for you to put out. Oh, and count the cash right now!”

Me: “Is there any way you can stock the beer for me? I don’t think I’m going to be leaving the cash for a while.”

Boss #2: “Nope! See ya!” *leaves*

(Thankfully, another customer went and stocked the beer cooler for me—but not before rolling her eyes at my boss.)

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Listening Skills Are Going To The (Hot) Dogs

| Florida, USA | Working | July 2, 2012

Me: “I’d like a foot-long hotdog with ketchup, mustard, and relish.”

Cashier: “Here you go.” *hands me a chili dog*

Me: “Actually, I wanted a hotdog with ketchup, mustard, and relish.”

Cashier: *blank stare*

Me: “This has chili.”

Cashier: *adds onions*

Me: “Uh…all right.”

Cashier: “Enjoy your burger!”

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