I was helping a fellow cashier by bagging thier customers items, when the customer starts taking items out of the bags.
Cashier: is there an issue ma’am?
Customer: well this amerture bagging is clearly new here.
Me: Im sorry?
Customer: I come in everyday and have never seen you here so you must be new.
Me: I guess so!
Note: i have been working at the store for well over three months.

My mother loves animals and for some reason is very good with birds. We were on vacation in our cabin that is in the middle of the woods and has very large windows. One day the inevitable happened and a bird flew into the window. Since we were in the middle of no where there were no vets around so my mom decided to nurse the bird back to health by herself.

She makes a little basket and gave it water and everything and held it and pet it. Of course our dog was barking like mad the whole time.

The bird stayed in our house overnight. And in the morning she tried to get it to fly, but had no luck. So in the afternoon we were both in the living room, she had the bird in her hands and then it flew out of them… right into the same window.

it died later that evening.

although it was sad, it was a bit comical. And reminded me a lot of something that would happen in a cartoon.

There was a tree in our yard that was dead. My mother decided to cut it down since it was already dead and she didn’t want it to fall into our apple tree. So she took a chainsaw and cut it down. Unfortunately it fell right into the apple tree and some of it’s branches got tangled up in it. So she started to try to cut the branches off. She started calling my name:

Mom: “[My name] I need help, I was trying to cut this branch off, but now the saw is stuck in it! So I need you too hold it in place and I am going to try to grab another saw to cut this saw out of the tree.”

She tried to cut it out, but it didn’t work. She ended up letting the saw hang in the tree overnight. I’m not sure how she got the saw out because I was at school when it happened. But now I do not trust her to cut down trees.

This happens in 8th grade, ages 13-14. Before the teacher comes in two boys were playing a game where they were throwing white-board-markers to try to knock things off of a shelf. One of them, we’ll call him Student#1 threw it too hard and the marker broke. The kid picks up all of the pieces and tries to put them back together.

Student#1: “ooh I have an idea!”

He grabs a stapler and tries to staple the marker together, of course it doesn’t work. Eventually a girl grabs the broken marker out of his hands and gets it to stay together.

The teacher comes in and unfortunately he decides to take notes on the whiteboard with the broken marker. It works for about twenty minutes before it falls apart in his hands. A few people start laughing.

Teacher: “What the bones happened to my marker?!”

A little while later he has to staple some papers together:

Teacher: “Why is my stapler broken?!”

I’m bi, this happens before I come out: I was in my room looking at memes about being lgbtq+, when my mom comes in. I also have a glass thing hanging in my window that makes rainbows on my wall

Mom: “hey I like this rainbow, well okay bye”

me *thinking*: did that just happen?!