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They’re Going To Need An Extra-Strong Raktajino

, , , , , | Right | September 17, 2021

I work in a coffee shop in a convention center, and a Star Trek convention is going down. Since I am a fan of the show, my manager has given me permission to work my shift as a Vulcan from the show. I have the hair, the uniform, and most importantly, the ears.

I’ve been serving fans all day and they’re all getting a kick out of it, until one guy comes up in a classic Captain Kirk uniform and seems unimpressed with my getup. I should note that I am Asian.

Customer: “You trying to be a Vulcan?”

Me: “Yes, sir! It was the logical thing to do today!”

Customer: “You can’t be a Vulcan!”

Me: “I think I pull it off pretty well, sir.”

Customer: “But there ain’t no China on Vulcan!”

Ah, I see. Simple racism. I know how to deal with this.

Me: “That’s right, sir. There is no China on Vulcan. There’s no Europe, either.”

The customer opens his mouth to counter my point but then realizes the ridiculousness of arguing over what the default race should be coming from a fictional alien planet. After stuttering a moment:

Customer: “There ain’t no China on Vulcan!”

He stormed off. I wish he left that kind of bigotry in his quarters; there’s no room for it on my bridge.