The Worst Thing On Pizza Isn’t Pineapple, It’s Lies

(We have a lot of people who ring with fake complaints to try and score free food or scam us out of money. A customer calls in, guns blazing, screaming down the phone.)

Caller: “I ordered my pizza well over two hours ago and it still hasn’t shown up! You lot are a bunch of pathetic losers who can’t even run a pizza shop properly! I bet you forgot about our order, or are eating it yourselves, you bunch of deadbeats! I’m going to get the whole lot of you fired if my pizza isn’t here in the next ten minutes! What have you got to say about that?!”

Me: “We opened fifteen minutes ago.”

Caller: “Oh, um, can I order a pizza?”

(I hung up.)