The Only Naked People She Wants To See Are Adam And Eve

It is the early days of cable TV, and I am working in an electronics store that also sells cable packages near the TV section. An older woman and her quiet-looking husband storm up to me. The woman does all the talking.

Customer: “I bought this cable package because you told me it cost $19 for the educational and children’s programming for my grandkids and the Bible channel for me! But I’m paying almost double that, and there are all these filthy channels added that have all these naked ladies all over them, and it’s disgusting!”

Me: “That does sound concerning! Let me see if I can look up your account for you.”

I get the details, and I can see that they did initially sign on for the basic package as she stated, which was $19. A few months later, the customer apparently called and added the “adult” package for another $19, which came with the channels she was complaining about.

Now I know why the husband is looking so sheepish. Time to try to explain this diplomatically.

Customer: “That is impossible! Neither my husband nor I would denigrate ourselves to look at that sinful stuff! You must have made a mistake! Take the channels off and refund us!”

Since only one month has been charged, I find it easier to just give her what she wants. I tell her that I have done as she asked.

Customer: “Good! Sexual relations are sinful except only in the very specific times you’re trying to procreate!”

So, she’s only ever had sex when she was trying to conceive? Never for anything else? 

I suddenly know why her account might be accessing those certain videos!