The Only Germ Here Is Stupidity

At the beginning of the global health crisis, I have an elderly woman come in. She is looking at these handcrafted gift boxes, and she suddenly recoils, drops the box, and gasps.

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Customer: “These were made in Vietnam! They have [contagious illness]!”

I stand there absolutely floored for a moment.

Me: “Ma’am, the germs couldn’t survive the trip here. These boxes have been in Canada for months now, anyway. And I, too, was made in Vietnam, so I take offence to that.”