The Conception Is Immaculate But Her Understanding Isn’t

A woman storms up to the register.

Customer: “These are all broken! I need a refund and I want to complain to your boss!”

She tosses a bunch of used pregnancy tests (unsealed) onto the counter. I call the manager while I don gloves to dispose of the items.

Manager: “What is the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “These all say my daughter is pregnant! But she can’t be! She’s just a teenager, and she’s a virgin!”

Manager: “I see. Well, I am afraid you’ll have to contact the manufacturer of each test if you have cause to believe they’re incorrect. However, with respect ma’am, if all six of these say she’s pregnant, she’s very likely pregnant.”

Customer: “But that’s impossible! She’s a virgin!”

Manager: “You’ll have to discuss that with your daughter, ma’am.”

Customer: “Can she be pregnant and still be a virgin?”

Manager: “As far as I am aware, there’s only been one account of that happening, so I very much doubt it.”

Customer: “So it has happened! How did it happen? Was it in the news?”

Manager: “It was… pretty well documented.”