That’s Really Not What 911 Is For

I have been working at a local Chinese takeout for the past year. If we had a manager, I would be a manager, but our chain of command is: boss man, then top cashier, and then cashiers, drivers, and cooks. This means I’m regularly tasked with things a manager would handle, such as training, supply orders such as utensils and sauces, and most notably, handling all refunds.

It’s a pretty slow evening on my 5:00 to 11:30 pm shift when a customer calls to place a delivery order. All is going well until I inform him of our standard delivery time: forty-five minutes to an hour. Well, he will not have this!

Customer: “Cancel my order! Too long!”

Me: “Sure thing! Just to clarify, since you had us charge you for your delivery ahead of time, it will be a couple of business days before it actually reflects on your account.”

This is where all h*** breaks loose.

The customer does not simply demand his money back.

Customer: *Screaming* “I will be down immediately, and you will be handing me money from the register.”

He hangs up as I mentally prepare for his assumed arrival.

He arrives fifteen to thirty minutes after our “friendly chat” and is still just as “friendly”! He again demands his money, so I attempt one last time to explain that his money is indeed on its way to his account, but to no avail.

In earshot of all our waiting customers, the customer dials 911.

Customer: “I’d like to report a theft at [Restaurant].”

Of course, the cops speed over — we sit very close to the local police station — and the customer gets to them first, so I let them chat. A cop then comes to me, explaining that he knows the issue now and doesn’t need further assistance! I see him go over to the customer once more, some words are exchanged, and out the door the customer goes, no register money in tow, thankfully.

Not too dramatic of an ending, but the kicker? The cop comes back to me one last time.

Cop: “You wouldn’t believe how many grown adults don’t understand how refunds work.”

Actually, Officer, I BELIEVE YOU!

That customer has yet to be seen or heard from again, and this was approximately six months ago. Victory!