America The Bountiful

| Learning | April 16, 2013

(My students are learning about the western hemisphere.)

Me: “Okay, let’s go over the continents. There’s—”

Student: “South America! North America!”

Me: “Good. And…Green—”

Student: “Green America!”

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Not Much Of A Kyacknowledgement

| Learning | April 13, 2013

(Our class is studying the ocean. We start off the unit by brainstorming all things we associate with the ocean while the teacher writes them on the board.)

Student #1: “Whales!”

Teacher: “Good, good, keep going.”

Student #2: “Kayaks!”

Teacher: “Excellent! What a great word!”

(She writes “kayak” on the board as K-Y-A-C-K.)

Me: “Miss [teacher’s name], isn’t “kayak” spelled K-A-Y-A-K?”

Teacher: “No, that’s not right.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure it is.”

Teacher: *gives me a dirty look* “Look it up in the dictionary while we continue.”

(I find ‘kayak’ in the dictionary, take it up to her, and point out the correct spelling. The teacher avoids looking at me as she responds.)

Teacher: “Hmph. Well that’s a funny way to spell it.”

(She erases ‘kyack’ and replaces it with ‘kayak’ and continues asking for more words. She never did apologize to me for telling me I was wrong!)

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Of Saur-ing Aspirations And Job Rex-pectations

| Learning | April 12, 2013

(A student is reading a book about a girl trying to decide what she wants to be when she grows up. We finish and begin talking about the story.)

Me: “Which of these jobs would you like to have when you grow up?”

Student: “Dinosaur.”

Me: “Um, which of the jobs in the book would you want to have?”

Student: “DINOSAUR!”

Me: “Um…?”

(After some guidance, he later changed his answer to ‘astronaut’.)

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This Mini-Monarch Doesn’t Need Tudor-ing In History

| Learning | April 11, 2013

(I am a second grade teacher. One of my students, an exceptionally bright young boy, runs up to me at recess with a huge grin.)

Me: “Hey, [student]! What are you playing?”

Student: “Henry VIII!”

Me: “Oh? How do you play Henry VIII?”

Student: *hugs me* “I love you!”

Me: “Oh, sweetie. I love you, t—”

Student: *interrupts* “Just kidding! Off with your head!”

(Best. Game. Ever.)

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A Devil-Maya-Care Attitude

| Learning | April 6, 2013

(I am a school librarian and I take some students aside for reading practice in the afternoon. We are reading about airplanes.)

Fifth Grader: “Ms. [my name], have you ever flown in a plane?”

Me: “Yes, I have. In fact, my boyfriend owns a small plane that looks a lot like the one on this page.” *points at a page in book*

Fifth Grader: “You’re not married?”

Me: “No. Let’s go on to the next page…”

Fifth Grader: “And you’re not engaged?”

Me: “No, not yet. Let’s go on with the book…”

Fifth Grader: “That’s so sad! I feel so bad for you!”

Me: “There’s no need to feel bad.”

Fifth Grader: “But the world is going to end in two weeks, and you won’t be married! And if you’re in the same bed when it happens, you’ll go to h***!”

(I talked to the student’s teacher, and she told me that a few students in her class had been informed by their parents that the world is ending this month. One student in her class has stopped doing school work entirely!)

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