Like Tolkien To A Brick Deeping Wall
(I am at an open day at school for my young son. It isn’t a faith-based school, so there are no requirements to be a particular religion. I am currently talking to the headmaster who has only been there three months.)
Headmaster: *notices my wedding ring* “What on Earth is that?”
(My wedding ring is a replica of the one ring from Lord of the Rings.)
Me: “Oh, it’s my wedding ring. My husband and I are huge Lord of the Rings fans.”
Headmaster: “What are all these demonic symbols on it?”
Me: “Oh, it’s Elvish writing, a language that J.R.R Tolkien made up.”
Headmaster: “A good Christian should never wear demonic symbols on their person!”
Me: “Oh no, me and my husband are atheists, but we want [son] to learn about different religions and decide for himself what he wants to believe.”
(The head looks taken aback by my son’s name, which is Japanese even though both my husband and I are British.)
Headmaster: “What sort of a h***ish name is [son’s name]?!”
(I am starting to get slightly annoyed now, but still persevere as it is a good school.)
Me: “We both have very common names, and wanted to name our children something that meant a lot to us, even if it wasn’t necessarily in common usage.”
Headmaster: “Well I don’t want any of your kind coming to my school and corrupting the other children, and I will send messages to the other schools in the county warning them of you! You should be ashamed of yourselves!”
(She proceeded to write “Do not accept anyone called [son’s name]” on her notepad and shooed me away. I later learnt she had been fired for turning away three Muslim families, but I still didn’t send my son to that school!)
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