(We had a substitute kindergarten teacher who is telling us about how she used to teach English in Japan before she returned home to teach here.)
Classmate: “Mrs. [Teacher], did you have Godzilla drills like we have fire drills when you were in Japan?”
Teacher: “…”
(My year three class is doing a worksheet on metaphors. One student has gotten a bit stuck.)
Student: “I don’t understand this.”
Me: “It’s asking what the metaphors mean. ‘My feet are blocks of ice’ must mean your feet are very…”
Student: “Cold!”
Me: “Yes! And ‘my grandma is an angel’ must mean my grandma is very…”
Student: “Dead!”
(I’m in the first grade. Our class has recently started reading easy-reading texts. I catch on quickly and am getting bored.)
Me: “I’m tired of reading three-letter words! When are we going to start reading four-letter words?”
(I was a very precocious child, and both my father and grandfather liked to take advantage of that and “use” me to shock people. Because of the year I happened to start kindergarten, my grandfather got an idea in his head of the book I should read the week beforehand…)
Teacher: *first day of school* “Can you read yet, dear?”
Me: “Yup, since I was two!”
Teacher: “Okaaay… Well, what’s the last book you read by yourself?”
Me: “1984.”
Teacher: *puzzled* “You mean a calendar for this year?”
Me: “No, a regular book. It made me really glad I don’t have a brother, especially a big brother.”
Teacher: *eyes bug out* “Hang on just a moment.”
(She stuck her head through the connecting door to the next classroom, asked the other kindergarten teacher to keep an ear on us, and left the room. When she came back a few minutes later:)
Teacher: “Okay, come with me. You’re going to third grade.”
(So I spent half my time with the third grade and half with the other kindergartners. For the record, I didn’t REALLY understand 1984 as a five-year-old – but the third grade classroom had WAY better books in it, so I was a happy bunny.)
Teacher: “Do you remember the name of the prize Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. won?”
First-Grade Student: *very excitedly* “The No Good Peace Prize!”
